A turned down offer

So we had a guy come look at our car. ITs a 2003 Pontiac Bonneville SSEI... which means its supercharged and super-fast..... for lack of better word I guess. Well, he called last night and made an offer. I never thought we would turn down and offer. I want a van and thought as soon as we get an offer we would take it and I would have my van... wrong.

He didn't offer us enough and when Randy said how much he wants to get out of it, the guy said his offere was the most he would go. That was the end of that. Oh well. I know we can't afford a change right now.... you always lose out on the deal when making a change on a car, so we better just it on our car, keep paying for it monthly and be happpy. I am happy with it. Just relaly want a van. I guess someday I will.

I feel God will bless us. For not being impatient and just jumping on this first offer. If we dont sell it, then we wait and pay it off and then buy a van... either way. It will work.

Just wanted to share, that I am proud of our choice. The easy thing could have been to jump on that offer and then be out searching for a van and wanting to pay too much for a van that is above our means. So this way, it saved us money.

Now onto my day! Stil in my car and thats ok : )

A hidden blessing

God is soooo good, All the time.

I was cleaning Sophia's room, looking to see what she had, what fit her and what didn't, putting clothes away that didn't and figuring how many pairs of pants she would need to get by for the fall/winter. I realized she was in need of new pants. WIth a bit of worry, I realized on the new found budget we have, and the off relationship I have with visa, mastercard, and discover, just going to the store and buying new was not an option. So I just continued about my day and didn't want to think about it.

I moved into Elliots room where I saw the basket of clothes I was ignoring, for a month or more at this point. clothes that people have given us, that I just didn't have time to go through and see what to keep, what to pass on. Well, in that basket were 4 pairs of size 3t pants, the size she will need for this fall/winter as well as shirts, sweaters, and a columbia winter coat and snow pants. WOW! I do not need to worry about her clothes, because she is set for this upcoming seasons!

I am amazed at how God works. I want to always be amazed at how he works too. I never want to just expect things to happen, but yet be thankful when they do and thankful for then dont. God has his reason why some things we pray for and ask dont happen. He sees the whole puzzle, we only see a piece... so he knows what will fit in our lives and what won't.

I'm so thankful for the provision He has given us. For the watching out and knowing our every need. My children both have plenty of clothes now for the upcoming seasons and I know its because God watches out for us.

Now I just need to be ok with my daughter wearing size 3T.... she is getting so big. Now onto the potty right?? That would be wonderful!

Part of my problem

The title, part of my problem, is funny. I have many problems, most I know about am are trying to fix.

I'm not pregnant. Thats my problem. AHH!! Instead of focusing on what I have in life, I am looking ahead, still. Do I not realize what being pregnant means? 9 more months of discomfort and pain to go into labor and have that happen all over again. For a few months of not sleeping, pain in nursing, oh and nursing! Not being able to wear whatever I want becuase it has to be easily acsesible to feed the baby. Yes, I would have a baby in the process, but that right there, a third baby?!? Am I nuts? Why yes I am, because I want this baby.

I always said I wouldn't let having a family consume my energy. I wouldn't let that take over my only thoughts. I want to be content with what I have. But I'm seriously struggling right now. I have taken so many tests, thinking, maybe it was just too early. After awhile, negative tests where on you. I am done. I am committed to being done. I will not buy, or take any more tests. Randy isn't ready yet, so why am I pushing this?

God has a plan for my family. The two children I have need my attention. I need to focus my energy on potty training my daughter. I had yet another reminder today of my daughter not being potty trained and the two other little girls at church (same age) are. eyeye. I need to focus on how Elliot is changing daily and if I dont stop and look, he may do something new and I wont see it. I need to shut the computer more than its open and just keep my house clean, keep the laundry caught up and the kitchen cleaned. And most importantly, I need to be the wife to Randy he deserves. I was a wife before I was a mother and I need to get back to that. He is the most wonderful man. I love him more than he knows. I am proud of him for all he does in a day (without ever complaining too)

Actually, most importantly, I need to get my heart right with the Lord. I've been so far, but pretending to be so close. I am only fooling myself at this point. I need to realize why I am on this earth and start living that way. God so desperately wants me back to His side and I keep pushing it off like its not important. God wants to bless us, but if don't allow Him to work in our lives, then He won't. I need to start clinging to the promises of His word. Pastor Doug asked us in sunday school a verse or passage that you have claimed lately. I was so embarressed because I didn't have one lately. I used to, but I couldn't even recall them. I need it. I am like a baby who needs fed every 2 hours, I need fed by the word of God.

I guess that is my problem, not part, but the whole problem. Once that part of my life is line with God, I really believe whole-heartidly that the rest will fall into place. I need to not rush things, they happen fast enough. And besides, I want twins next, and I am pretty sure I would go crazy with twins right now. Elliot better get a little bigger before that happens.

Maybe now I can get to sleep. I have alot on my mind. Thanks for reading.

September 11

On Tuesday, September 11 2001 I woke for school. Just another day. I packed my bag for school, and my bag for cross country. Probably showered and ate breakfast, gave my dad a hug and went out to school. Picked up my friend Jill for school and headed to Butler High school. That day was going to be a normal day, except I was exempt from a few morning classes to pass out the yearbooks from the previous school year. Feeling priviledged, I set up in the conference room. Little did I know, the world I knew was about to change forever.

A little before 9, Mr. Thompson came in with a very solemn face. He said we were under attack and it wasn't good. He was able to turn the tv on in that room (not all the tv's in our school were connected to cable, but that being a conference room, it was.) I couldn't believe what I saw. We were pretty glued to the TV for the next hour.

In that hour, I saw a plane went down in Somerset county. My heart started to race. My best friend Anne lived in Somerset county, was she ok, was her family ok? I needed to know. I wanted to call home and talk to my dad.... thankfully I was able to. I called my dad and he was able to assure me that plane went down in an empty field where no buildings were effected. Whew.

But what was going on? Who would do such a terrible thing to our nation?

I remember going to lunch that day and hearing kids joke about what happened, making fun of the pentagon, and the world trade center, hearing jokes like 'what are they trading there, world things?' I wish I had the courage to stop the jokes right then and there. How rude and ignorant those teens sounded. I may have laughed at a few of the jokes or the stupidity, but looking back now, we were all ignorant teens.

I read on facebook today, should 9/11 be a holiday. To our generation, it is a big deal, to our nation it is a big deal and we wont forget that day. But just like many days in our past, Pearl Harbor, V-Day, days from WWI and WWII that had significant impact on our nation. Will we remember 9/11 , or will we remember is less and less. I look at high school seniors right now, some were 9 or 10 when that day happened, will they really remember the impact of that day? It is up to us to remind them and to teach them what all that day meant.

I know I wont forget. I wont forget about the freedom I so greatly take for granted some days. I forget that people are fighting for our country still today, right now, and I need to be grateful for the freedom I have. The freedom I have is not free.

If you read this, thank a VET today, or a fireman or police office, someone who puts their life in danger on a daily basis to protect you!

Pass it on!!

Some odd cravings

Never go to the grocery store hungry. Should just end this post now. That is enough said, a nice life lesson. But I will elaborate.

I went and I wanted chicken fajitas. So I went to get the chicken, passed the corn dogs on the way, put a box of those in the cart (can I just say, GROSS!) Kept on walking. Past the Orange pop, thought, yum, corn dogs and orange pop.... bought 6 bottles of that. Can't buy the cans, I wanted the bottle. Thought, Oh I want something sweet, but not chocolate. Got some sour gummy worms and fruit chews.

At this point, I am realizing I need to be done and just head to the checkout before I keep adding to my cart.

I pulled out of the parking lot and into Taco Bell and bought one of there fruit freeze (basically a slurpee) and drank that down on the drive home.

After the soccer game and a little time at the park, went and got a large sweet tea from McDonalds... which I put in the fridge and just finished now with my corn dog.

I am not pregnant, but am having some wicked cravings lately. I hope they go away soon, dont think our budget can handle them much longer!

A mometous Evening

So tonight, I was feeding Elliot before bed and Sophia was up and playing. Past her bedtime but thats ok, she's little and its summer (not sure why that makes it ok, but whatever) and our good friend Chris was in the bathroom doing laundry and Sophia was in about ready to brush her teeth when she stopped and said she had to go potty. She proceeds to put the cushion down and the stop stool over and sits up their on her throne. She gets off wipes and says, just a little bit of poop. Hey, a little bit of poop is a HUGE deal to me. That was the first time she went poop on the pot without me asking. It was the first time for that EVER with or without me asking. I just feel like she is getting it. She doesn't like to be pushed in life to do anything she doesn't want to do. But when she decides to do something she is great at it. She never crawled as a baby, just sat there and would fall over until she figured out how to pull herself up then she took off. She has never been one to let things hold her back. Yes, I am talking about my 2 year old. But she is strong willed and stubborn and I love every minute of it. She will never be pushed to do what she doesn't want to. I just pray she continues that in her life when it comes to peer pressure and other things that could be harmful to her. I was cleaning her room out tonight and her and Elliot were sitting and playing. Sophia found the book I read to her last night, Brown Bear Brown Bear, and she was 'reading' it. I have a video I am going to attempt to post now. Hopefully it works.I really am blessed to have what I have in life. I feel God has blessed me and given me the desires of my heart. Sophia and Elliot are such joys and blessings. I am so happy Elliot is still nursing. That I have kept it up as long as I have. I only planned on going 6 months, I never thought it would be this easy and that I would have such a good experience with it. Sophia was so different when it came to eating. She would eat anything from anyone pretty much, but Elliot is much more picky about it. He just wants me. Although I have been spoon feeding him and he ate a ton of food today, three jars of food! He is a growing boy and I dont expect anything less now. Ok, once this video is done uploading I'll post and hopefully I picked the right one... if not, I'll make a new post and add it!