Another Wednesday!

Yeah, I haven't posted in a week, and its Wednesday again, which means "Whats up Wednesday" is back!

Middle of the week, where I unwind my mind and just 'vent' out whats going on from the past week.

I may not be able to come up with 10, I may be able to, who knows. I wont know until I start.

10. Gymnastics tonight, I'm dreading taking Elliot. He doesn't listen and dosen't want to be part of his class. I am taking Andrew with me. It may be a complete fail of a night. We will have to see.

9. Still love my van.

8. We went to my parents house for a surprise 40 year anniversary. It was a huge hit. yes it was a lot of driving in a two day period but it was all worth it. The kids had fun, there was no drama with the adults, and Randy was able to go with me. Al in all it was an awesome few days.

7. I smashed my pinkie finger today. My own anger got the best of me. Most dont know me as an angry person, but I do have a temper and a short fuse sometimes. I am working on it as I see it coming out more and more.

6. As I type, my children are all playing with cars on the floor road map. Its so cute to see even Andrew loving it.

5. Elliot is still struggling with the potty. I don't get it as he was doing great for so long.

4. Andrew is in a dumping phase, if there is a bucket or container with things in it he will dump it. He just dumped two containers in the last 30 seconds and completely walked away from it all.

3. After spending time with my parents and family it makes me long to live near them all again. I feel so out in left field when things happen because its always work for us to get home. I'm stuck in a tough spot though because I love it here and love our church family. One thing is missing though, my family. I keep praying God changes my desires, but so far I still want to be there. I am content here, and I am really happy. I just see my children with their cousins and it makes me sad they dont have that on a regular basis.

2. Andrew is now walking around with a bucket on his head. Oh boy he is funny.

1. I'm so ready to be out of debt. We are working towards it. With our tax return this year we are going to use it very wisely and better ourselves. That way, we will free up some money to make double payments on other things to pay off as much as possible as soon as possible.

Wow, I got to 10. Not surprised. I like to talk. I will do better at updating more often. I know I say that a lot. But I mean it. Its good to get feelings out and 'talk' about them.

Goodbye for now.

Whats up Wednesday

I want to try daily themed posts. I'm awful at posting and I want to get better at it. For my faithful readers, lol, all three of you.

Each Wednesday I will try to post 10 random things going on in my life, things on my mind, and updates on previous events. Enjoy!

10. We bought a new van a few weeks ago, like 11 days ago to be exact, and I love it. Its what I've wanted since this newer body style came out. Randy is so good to me.

9. The kids started gymnastics. I realize its probably not going to produce Olympic gold medalists, but they sure are cute jumping around in the gym.

8. Elliot is going to be 3 in a few days and I'm in denial. He isn't a baby or a toddler anymore, he is a little boy now. He is rough and tumbly (also good reason for gymnastics) and sweet and loving all at the same time.

7. I watch a few kids in home and some have called me crazy. As if three kids weren't enough, I open my house, heart, and life to two other little ones. One I've watched for 4 years, one for about 6 months. I really do love these little ones like my own.

6. I am helping with the 'big auction' at Sophia's school and the grand raffle prize is either $5,000 or a trip for two to Vegas. As the trip sounds wonderful and all, I would gladly take the 5k. Pay off a few credit cards and maybe do some shopping. I do need a new wardrobe!

5. I want another baby. Not going to lie about it. I just know if we wait a few months by the time the baby is born, we will be closer to Elliot being in preschool, closer to financial freedom, and closer to only have one in diapers at a time. Good reasons to wait I suppose.

4. Elliot has this new thing where he pees in buckets, any bucket really. Its funny, but not appropriate! Gotta kick that habit, soon!

3. This 'spring like' weather is making me long for spring for real! I heard birds this afternoon when I went to get the mail. Not fair. As its only Jan 11th!

2. My children are growing way to fast and I dont want to miss a minute of it! I feel guilty for not enjoying my time with them more.

1. I bought a new stroller today, on a whim, yikes. Its one I've wanted for awhile, so not completely an impulse buy, but close. Its a sit n stand, but not the traditional one. All the reviews on it were good. I know Randy supports my decisions, but spending money always scares him. I really feel it will be our stroller for a few more years. Small than a double, but still has room for two children. I have two double strollers, a side by side and a front to back. Both have pros and cons. The one I just bought should be a good compromise to both. The best part, the color is orange! Toys r us was having a big sale today with free shipping, so I got it for 50% off and free shipping.

Well, that's all. Now I need to clean up my living room and enjoy the afternoon with my kiddos before their gymnastics class tonight!

Whats up Friday

I want to start to do this post on fridays, to unload the week that just past and look forward to the week ahead.

1. I feel my patience is being tested daily with Elliot. He used to be so sweet and not naughty but lately, I want to pull my hair out. In September he gave up the diaper, almost cold turkey. Since then he's had very few accidents. We went away for thanksgiving and since then he's struggled. Today he flat out peed his pants. I think that was the last straw as I put a diaper on him and put him down for a nap. I realize a diaper may not be the right direction, but I"m so tired of this. I know he knows better at this point.... ugh!

2. Sophia is thriving in school. She has lots of friends and even a few boys that she palls around with. I'm not surprised as I have watched a little boy a few months younger than her since they were 9 and 4 months old. No surprise she plays with boys in school.

3. A girl who went to college with me is in surgery right now (as I type) to remove a stage 4 brain tumor. I have no words to express how this is making me feel. I feel so badly for her two young boys and her husband. I know Gods hands are on her body right now and only HE can heal her.

4. I"m excited to have another baby... someday.... not sure when though.

5. I had a crummy head cold this week. Took me down for a few days. What stinks being sick as a mom, you dont get 'sick days'. If I didn't do the laundry, it wouldn't be done.

6. Fridays are our library days. Pretty fun group of kids that my children love to be around.

7. I offered to help with Sophia's schools big event, the auction. Its going to be way more work than I thought or even expected. I'm a tad overwhelmed at it actually. They originally asked me to run it.... I had no idea what I was getting myself into at the time I said 'yes' THen I found out it would be more than I could handle. I am still helping with it. But still overwhelmed at it all.

8. I so want a vacation, a true vacation, where money wasn't an option. sigh maybe someday.

God is in the small things

Ever wonder if God cares about you? If he cares about the tiny details of your life that you struggle with on a daily basis?

I was reading the other night in Exodus (yes, true story) and I was blown away by the detail God went into with Moses on how to sacrifce an animal. I mean, the tiny details were there. I was almost grossed out by the amount of detail to be honest.

I asked Randy about it, because I was amazed at the detail written down, that God wanted to be recorded and took the time to share with Moses. Well, his explanation was simple. God cares about the tiny details.

I had a rough day today, I let my bitter attitude win over and control me. Sometimes, things are just hard for me. Today was definately one of those days.

But in the future, I really hope to remember what I read the other night. And remember that God cares about the small things, the things that weigh us down without really meaning it too. The things that we dont want to 'bother' God with. But if He could go into such detail to Moses, then I truly believe He cares about the small details of your (my) life.

My testimony..... its kind of long!

I was recently asked to give my testimoney at ladies bible study. I had about 10 days to prep for it. In that ten days, I thought about what I was going to share. I made notes in my mind of what I wanted to say and what I didnt want to say. I thought long and hard about it, prayed over it and just had to 'wing' it when it came time. There was more I wanted to say but didn't want to take more time than I already was taking. So I thought I would share here, for those who read my blog, to read my 'story' and maybe be encouraged from it.

I was born and raised into a christian family. I can remember going to church from my very earliest memories. To me, it was my lifestyle, not a choice, or an option. My parents went, so I went. When I was 12, I remember one sunday a man came to my moms sunday school class and called her into the hallway, she came back into the room crying. She wasn't just crying, she was sobbing. She grabbed her things and told me it was time to go. I didn't understand what was going on... I was very young and naive. I only learned the truth of the whole story not that long ago actually. Regardless, we were no longer attending that church after that sunday.

Talk about throwing my world upside down. I didn't want a different church. THAT was my church. My parents started attending a new church the following week. I went because they told me it wasn't an option, but I had to go. So I did, but I didn't want to. For a few months I went but never participated in the songs or even acted like I wanted to be there. That summer, I was at church camp and God got ahold of my heart. Basically, I realized church and christianity had to be MY choice and not what my parents wanted from me. I left that week with a new desire to be there, to grow my relationship with Jesus Christ, and to make some awesome christian friends.

From age 12-18 I attended this church, and the youth group where I went on as many events as I could, as many trips as I could and joined as many bible studies as I could. I had an awesome small group with friends I could trust and share with.

The summer after I graduated high school I had a whirlwind relationship with a friend. I thought I could marry him, and was ready to just settle for him. I was really wrestling with what to do with my life. To go to college, then what college to go to, and so many other things. This man would not have been a bad husband, I'm sure of it, but I just didn't feel like I was ready to make that decision. So I ended the relationship and cruised through my school year.

That year was another downward spiral for me. I let my ability to run influence my every decision and stopped going to church. My roommate kept asking me and I kept making excuses to why I wasn't going. After falling short of qualifying for nationals, I realized something had to change in my life. The first three weeks of summer break, I was a nanny for a family going through the hardest thing in life, losing a parent. God used that three weeks in my life to show me so much about myself. During those three weeks, I didn't go for a run, or workout at all. I realized I didn't need that to be center of my life anymore.

That was also the summer I met Randy. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I knew I should step back from dating and try to focus on myself and my relationship with God. Randy and I wrote letters, phone calls, and emails back and forth as we lived a few states away. I knew early on we were going to be married but wasn't sure how soon that would be. When my dad finally gave us our blessing, we began to plan our wedding.

We were married June 25, 2005, and I moved to Michigan to join him in his ministry that he was working in. I have to be honest and say, I was so lonely. We lived there for about a year before we found out we were pregnant with Sophia. I was an assitant preschool teacher and I loved my job, but that was about it. I was excited about being a mom but I was lonely. The teacher I worked with was a good friend, but I felt guilty for not enjoying church more.

In mid October, Randy called and asked what I thought about Clare. My first thoughts were "I"m not moving" and then after about a day I decided we should pray about it. That same week, we took a drive to Clare and checked out the town. Needless to say, we were packing up and moving Mid March. Sophia was due the first week of April. We moved none to soon thats for sure.

ok, so if you are still reading, you are thinking, nothing extremely fabulous here, just a boring story. Well, this past year, 2011 was very hard for me. I found myself stuck in a rutt if you will, couldn't shake the blues and just couldn't make myself happy. I was trying to make people and things make me happy. If I just had 'this' or 'that' I would be happy. Well, that wasn't working. Randy couldn't make me happy. Its been a year of tears and sadly, some anger.

I realized no one person or thing could make me happy. God was the only one who could fill that in my life. On Sweetest Day this year, Randy bought me a new iphone. I didn't think much of it... but was playing with it and have started reading the bible through in a year. I have read every single day since. I actually like reading and enjoy reading it. Shamefully, I haven't been this excited to read my bible everyday in a while. I know, thats so sad, being a pastors wife especially. Well, thats the truth.

So, thats where I am at. Things are finally looking up and up as I get my focus off myself and more on Christ and all He has done for me. I also joined a ladies bible study and that has been great. We are studying who God is and how wonderful He is. The study has come at the most perfect timing too.

If you are feeling down and out of it today, and need/want to talk about my relationship wtih Christ because you dont know what that is, please dont hesitate to call me! I would love to chat with you on how you too can build that wonderful relationship. People will fail you, but God will never fail you!

Sardines

Do you know the game of sardines? Where one person goes and hides and the rest of the group looks, and when they find the person 'it' they hide with them.

My children are champions of this game let me tell you. I was just talking on the phone (something that happens very rarely b/c of this reason) I kept getting up and walking to a new room, to get some quietness to talk to my sweet friend. Well, they found me every single time. I went to the bathroom, found, the bedroom, found me there too. Went to the kitchen table (yes I know obvious spot) surprise surprise, they found me there too. Finally I went to the playrom and they yet again followed me. It isn't like they follow me and just play, they follow me and want to talk and ask me for things. I need to teach them when I am on the phone to let me be for a few minutes unless someone is in danger.

Dont get me wrong, I adore my children and cherish the time with them. But a few minutes on the phone is not going to hurt them to play and let me talk.

Anyway, my children may just grow up to be profesionally sardine players. haha!

Oh, and people DO read my blog I found out today ;)

A question to ponder

So, a few days ago my son turned 1. It was a bittersweet day for me as my baby was no longer a 'baby' and now is a 1 year old. But what I found more sad than that, the lack of communication between people I used to talk to alot.

I changed my facebook profile picture to a picture of me from last year when I was ready to pop (literally). I had people comment on my picture, asking if I was pregnant again. One friend even thought she missed my entire pregnancy and thought I was currently that pregnant again.

I'm not upset at these people, but it just goes to show how much we dont communicate anymore. We rely on 1-2 lines on a 'facebook status' or a 'tweet' to get our information instead of talking to these 'friends'. How many friends are on your facebook? I have 338 and I can guarantee more than half I dont talk to in real life ever. I once did talk to them either in school or are family, but not on a regular basis.

I'm not saying to ditch facebook because it does bring a level of value when you can stay in contact with alot of people. But, when you stop caring about a person and simply use facebook to judge how they are doing in life, then we have a problem.

So, go through your friends on facebook and look at each name and ask yourself, how is that person doing? Make an effort to reach out to more people, beyond facebook.