a recent update

Well, not sure what I last wrote, haven't read it lately, but since I think I last wrote, here is what is going on...

We are going to have a baby! woohoo! I've reached 13 weeks, which is a safer time to share. When we lost the baby at 6-7 weeks I was truly devastated. I wanted to be so angry at God and just turn away from Him, but He is the only way I got through it. I realzied my plan is nothing compared to what He can do for me. I have learned so much through that whole experience that if I could, I wouldn't change what happened to me. It has made me a better person. I am thankful for what I went through. Hard as it was and even harder to really say this and mean it, I truly am thankful. someday when I reach the pearly gates of heaven I'll meet my little one that went "home" before I got to hold him/her, but that day it will all be worth it.

We will also be finding out the gender of this one. So many people have given us their opinions about it but it comes down to what Randy and I want. Randy wants to know and I do too... but it also doesn't matter to me. It would help with planning to be ready for when the little one comes. We dont make a ton of money, so if we know, we can prepare slowly, month by month until January. We dont need much, basically clothes if its a boy.

Some things I have been learning lately, when there is a difficulty in your path, do you pray and ask God for help right away, or do you use him later when nothing else is working. Pastor Doug had a quote a few weeks ago, Is prayer your first resource, or your final resort? I had to step back and look at that and think, more often, I tend to make it the final resort. Some simple examples, when I'm looking for something. I will search and look but never stop and ask God to help me see it. Then when i finally do, I always find it right away. You would think I would already have learned this lesson and make it the first resource! I tell ya what, I am human, and I do ere, but I pray and I strive to make it a daily challenge to seek God first in my life. Who gave me life? Who has given me everything I have? Randy provides for me, but Randy hasn't gone out and made anything for me, He hasn't made anything out of nothing like our GOD has!

Wow, I could go on and on about how Good and great our God is, but I think my body needs sleep. I have an early day tomorrow and really the rest of the week will be super busy.