My testimony..... its kind of long!

I was recently asked to give my testimoney at ladies bible study. I had about 10 days to prep for it. In that ten days, I thought about what I was going to share. I made notes in my mind of what I wanted to say and what I didnt want to say. I thought long and hard about it, prayed over it and just had to 'wing' it when it came time. There was more I wanted to say but didn't want to take more time than I already was taking. So I thought I would share here, for those who read my blog, to read my 'story' and maybe be encouraged from it.

I was born and raised into a christian family. I can remember going to church from my very earliest memories. To me, it was my lifestyle, not a choice, or an option. My parents went, so I went. When I was 12, I remember one sunday a man came to my moms sunday school class and called her into the hallway, she came back into the room crying. She wasn't just crying, she was sobbing. She grabbed her things and told me it was time to go. I didn't understand what was going on... I was very young and naive. I only learned the truth of the whole story not that long ago actually. Regardless, we were no longer attending that church after that sunday.

Talk about throwing my world upside down. I didn't want a different church. THAT was my church. My parents started attending a new church the following week. I went because they told me it wasn't an option, but I had to go. So I did, but I didn't want to. For a few months I went but never participated in the songs or even acted like I wanted to be there. That summer, I was at church camp and God got ahold of my heart. Basically, I realized church and christianity had to be MY choice and not what my parents wanted from me. I left that week with a new desire to be there, to grow my relationship with Jesus Christ, and to make some awesome christian friends.

From age 12-18 I attended this church, and the youth group where I went on as many events as I could, as many trips as I could and joined as many bible studies as I could. I had an awesome small group with friends I could trust and share with.

The summer after I graduated high school I had a whirlwind relationship with a friend. I thought I could marry him, and was ready to just settle for him. I was really wrestling with what to do with my life. To go to college, then what college to go to, and so many other things. This man would not have been a bad husband, I'm sure of it, but I just didn't feel like I was ready to make that decision. So I ended the relationship and cruised through my school year.

That year was another downward spiral for me. I let my ability to run influence my every decision and stopped going to church. My roommate kept asking me and I kept making excuses to why I wasn't going. After falling short of qualifying for nationals, I realized something had to change in my life. The first three weeks of summer break, I was a nanny for a family going through the hardest thing in life, losing a parent. God used that three weeks in my life to show me so much about myself. During those three weeks, I didn't go for a run, or workout at all. I realized I didn't need that to be center of my life anymore.

That was also the summer I met Randy. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I knew I should step back from dating and try to focus on myself and my relationship with God. Randy and I wrote letters, phone calls, and emails back and forth as we lived a few states away. I knew early on we were going to be married but wasn't sure how soon that would be. When my dad finally gave us our blessing, we began to plan our wedding.

We were married June 25, 2005, and I moved to Michigan to join him in his ministry that he was working in. I have to be honest and say, I was so lonely. We lived there for about a year before we found out we were pregnant with Sophia. I was an assitant preschool teacher and I loved my job, but that was about it. I was excited about being a mom but I was lonely. The teacher I worked with was a good friend, but I felt guilty for not enjoying church more.

In mid October, Randy called and asked what I thought about Clare. My first thoughts were "I"m not moving" and then after about a day I decided we should pray about it. That same week, we took a drive to Clare and checked out the town. Needless to say, we were packing up and moving Mid March. Sophia was due the first week of April. We moved none to soon thats for sure.

ok, so if you are still reading, you are thinking, nothing extremely fabulous here, just a boring story. Well, this past year, 2011 was very hard for me. I found myself stuck in a rutt if you will, couldn't shake the blues and just couldn't make myself happy. I was trying to make people and things make me happy. If I just had 'this' or 'that' I would be happy. Well, that wasn't working. Randy couldn't make me happy. Its been a year of tears and sadly, some anger.

I realized no one person or thing could make me happy. God was the only one who could fill that in my life. On Sweetest Day this year, Randy bought me a new iphone. I didn't think much of it... but was playing with it and have started reading the bible through in a year. I have read every single day since. I actually like reading and enjoy reading it. Shamefully, I haven't been this excited to read my bible everyday in a while. I know, thats so sad, being a pastors wife especially. Well, thats the truth.

So, thats where I am at. Things are finally looking up and up as I get my focus off myself and more on Christ and all He has done for me. I also joined a ladies bible study and that has been great. We are studying who God is and how wonderful He is. The study has come at the most perfect timing too.

If you are feeling down and out of it today, and need/want to talk about my relationship wtih Christ because you dont know what that is, please dont hesitate to call me! I would love to chat with you on how you too can build that wonderful relationship. People will fail you, but God will never fail you!

Sardines

Do you know the game of sardines? Where one person goes and hides and the rest of the group looks, and when they find the person 'it' they hide with them.

My children are champions of this game let me tell you. I was just talking on the phone (something that happens very rarely b/c of this reason) I kept getting up and walking to a new room, to get some quietness to talk to my sweet friend. Well, they found me every single time. I went to the bathroom, found, the bedroom, found me there too. Went to the kitchen table (yes I know obvious spot) surprise surprise, they found me there too. Finally I went to the playrom and they yet again followed me. It isn't like they follow me and just play, they follow me and want to talk and ask me for things. I need to teach them when I am on the phone to let me be for a few minutes unless someone is in danger.

Dont get me wrong, I adore my children and cherish the time with them. But a few minutes on the phone is not going to hurt them to play and let me talk.

Anyway, my children may just grow up to be profesionally sardine players. haha!

Oh, and people DO read my blog I found out today ;)

A question to ponder

So, a few days ago my son turned 1. It was a bittersweet day for me as my baby was no longer a 'baby' and now is a 1 year old. But what I found more sad than that, the lack of communication between people I used to talk to alot.

I changed my facebook profile picture to a picture of me from last year when I was ready to pop (literally). I had people comment on my picture, asking if I was pregnant again. One friend even thought she missed my entire pregnancy and thought I was currently that pregnant again.

I'm not upset at these people, but it just goes to show how much we dont communicate anymore. We rely on 1-2 lines on a 'facebook status' or a 'tweet' to get our information instead of talking to these 'friends'. How many friends are on your facebook? I have 338 and I can guarantee more than half I dont talk to in real life ever. I once did talk to them either in school or are family, but not on a regular basis.

I'm not saying to ditch facebook because it does bring a level of value when you can stay in contact with alot of people. But, when you stop caring about a person and simply use facebook to judge how they are doing in life, then we have a problem.

So, go through your friends on facebook and look at each name and ask yourself, how is that person doing? Make an effort to reach out to more people, beyond facebook.

My day with Elliot

Lately, I've been busy with little ones and with running Sophia to school and picking her up I feel like my son Elliot has been lost in the shuffle. I love him and I give him attention and love on him but I feel like the one on one time is few and far between. Andrew is still very much a baby and still needs me and Sophia gets my attention going to school and back. Yesterday however, was all about Elliot.

I did have a little one here, but she took a few hour nap in the afternoon so while the babies napped, I let Elliot 'be in charge'.

First, we went to the mailbox to get the mail.


Then we had to check out the pumpkins on the front steps.


Then we had to do some jumps in the driveway.


Of course we had to play soccer. And let me tell you, this boy sure loves to run and kick the ball! I've watched him and he is fast and can keep the ball (mostly) under control!


Then I raked leaves. He didn't really want to jump in them, but he wanted to ride his quad through them!



He then rode his quad around the house a few more times. He kept going hard ways, up the hill, around the big tree, in and out of a small patch of trees. He is such a boy!



AFter we spent time outside we went in and watched a little bit of a movie. Then of course we went back outside and waited for Sophia to come home from school.

I never regret having my children close in age. I just know how important it is to make each one feel special by giving them individual time. I had a blast with Elliot. I look forward to the next time we have like this.

July 7, 2003

July 7, 2003 started off like any other monday morning. Woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast and headed off to Slippery Rock Baptist Camp. I had a few things running through my head as I picked up my cousin on my way. We had a conversation on being content and waiting on God. Not just for finding our mates in life but in life in general. We pulled into the camp and about 10 minutes later a big blue van started pulling in. Usually when ministry teams joined us for a week of camp they through off the flow of our regular staff. This team was supposed to come later in the summer but due to a cancellation, Pastor Dave invited this team to join us for an extra week.

After seeing some of the team members get out of the van, my friend Julia and I decided to go greet them. There were thre girls and three guys. Two of the guys had blonde curly hair, the other had blonde hair but had a hat on. We introduced ourselves to him but he was very distracted. Oh well, we tried to be nice.

Later in staff meeting Pastor Dave told the girls on the team to find me and I would give them a brief run down on where their cabins were and what to expect this week. The leader of the team, then came and found me after to also talk to me about the same things.

The leader of the team, Randy Emmorey. Small world right? Randy doesn't remember meeting me either of those two times, but later is his first memory of me.

I was walking looking for a staff shirt and to find someone to add an extra bunk in my bed due to the number of campers I had. I kept walking past where he was standing and he kept trying to get my attention. Saying things like "How am I going to remember your name if you keep changing your shirt" I didn't have the rigth staff shirt for the day and so they kept giving me a different one and I kept changing. He was right, I kept changing my shirt and he was having a hard time remembering what I had on. He tells people, the cut off jean shorts, white t shirt and the red flip flops was forever engrained into his mind of what I was wearing the first time he met me.

So, that day, 8 year ago, played a huge role in my life. I didn't expect God to bring my husband to me the same day I let go of the reigns. Very thankful that I was willing to trust someone coming through on a summer ministry team.

July 7, 2003, isn't the date we got engaged, or the day we got married, but it was the day that changed my life forever by meeting my husband.

Mama said there'd be days like this....

So, I had a post all ready to go, took me a good half an hour to write due to stopping to deal with children and then when I hit publish... poof ... gone.


My couch has become a playground. Its an oversized couch, with pillows as the back instead of built in cushions. My children like to remove all the cushions and play on the couch. Problem is, I find cars and other small toys wedged in there. There is even a rip in the top of the couch that I have found cars wedged in there as well, thank you Elliot. I have asked for a new couch over and over again, something nicer, maybe leather, that isn't a big eyesore to our living room. THen I think about it and dont want my children to ruin a couch we spent any amount of money on. The couch /loveseat we have were given to us. They match each other and match the room (sorta) so I shouldn't complain right?

They all like to sit on the back of the couch too and use the window sill as a ledge to run cars on. Or to watch the neighbors come and go.

Another favorite activity is to throw all the pillows (there are 9) on the floor and then jump off the top of the couch onto the floor. Not a favorite activity of mine for sure, but you know it happens.

Who needs a swingset when we have an old beat up couch?

What my weeks look like.

Its friday night, I'm home with the kids because Randy is at a funeral. It was supposed to be over at 7, the dinner to follow then he was coming right home. Its been a long week. I'm ready to put the kids to bed and take a long hot shower. I can't remember the last time I've been able to shower without being walked in or or interupted for whatever reason.

Mondays are Randys day off. We try to spend it as a family if possible.

Tuesdays normally stink b/c the kids are in daddy withdrawal.

Wednesday are rough as well because Randy goes to work and comes home for dinner but has to leave again for church.

Thursday we are just pushign to the weekend.

Fridays, I'm exhausted. The kids are ready for their daddy to be home for the weekend and so am I.

Saturdays we spend as a family. We try to guard that day to be a true family day.

Sundays are always hectic with church and trying to get up and out the door. Randy leaves earlier and so I'm the one getting the kids fed and ready and to church ontime. We mostly make it by 915 every week. Sunday nights he invites the youth over almost every week, so I clean the house up during the afternoon.

Is it all worth it? Every bit of it. I love my life and what I do. There are days I wish I could just take a nap and a shower but for the most part, I really love it.