So tired...

So, I am so tired right now, I am starting to not think straight. I can't put a full sentence together at times, I forget what I'm doing half way through it... I get distracted very easily... there will be an end to this right? Elliot will give me a full night of sleep eventually right?

I dont want to give up on nursing so selfishly I can sleep. Because I would still have to get up to feed him, just not nursing him. Then I would have to mess with making a bottle... although I could have Randy help out more..

I had a terrible evening though. I reacted terribly to Randy and I feel terrible about it. I just wanted to get out of the house today and didn't want to take both kids with me... so I had to wait for Randy to get home. He wasn't feeling well, and I just snapped.

Makes me think of what pastor Doug said on sunday, my response is my responsibility. I am in charge and can change how I react to a situation. Even though I haven't slept in oh who knows how long, can't even remember now, I can still react in a good way. How hard is that?! Oh so hard!

Elliot is such a blessing and I love him so much. He is so sweet :)

So, here are a few goals before, well, no time limit on them I suppose, just a few goals I have...

1... organize my house! I want it to be clean... and stay clean.
2... run a marathon... if we have a third baby, and now is not the time to make that decision, I want to run a marathon before that baby shows up.
3... train to be a medical transribist... lol, I spelled that wrong, and earn some money so I can contribute to the financial situaion
4... potty train my daughter! (this one can happen tomorrow!)

So many things I want to do in my life... in the future, near future and just in general.

But, I have to take it all day by day. I only am given today, and shouldn't focus on the future.

Ok, I think Randy is ready to go to bed finally... so I"m going to take my wide awake son and put him to bed, I am praying he goes right down for me... maybe he'll sleep a long time tonight! Oh that would be great!