A long day

So, I haven't posted in a few days, several reasons. I've been super busy! I need a weekend to recover from my weekend.

Randy worked all day on Saturday mowing, and that was fine. I watched my neighbors two kiddos sat night for a few hours to give them a break. I made 1 batch of cookies before,t hen when they left, I started the second batch. They were for my dear Stacy's open house. *sniff* she has to go away to college in the fall! But oh well, that's what happens.

Sunday, we had church, then we tried to get on the road right away but Charlie threw up in his kennel and had to be cleaned out. My gag response right now is terrible so Randy had to do it. We got lunch, good old Wendys, and hit the road. After driving for just under 3 hours we got to Randy's mom's house. With, Randys brother and his three kids, plus Randy, me, and Sophia. We had a full van. We actually went to his siters house for a picnic. That was a blast. We then left and went to Randys moms house for the night. We had to be on the road by noon the next day to make it home intime for the open house... so it was a whirlwind of a trip, very fast and also very short. We dropped Dan and his kids off in Grand Rapids and kept going the remaining 2 hours home. We got to the party at 3 and I jumped in and started helping in the kitchen. We left the party at 5 ish for our "Date night" We got home from that around 9 and I just wanted to pass out. I was exhausted.

Needless to sy, yesterday was a day of rest. I didn't do much but take care of Sophia. Today we have our church picture for the new directory so I need to pull away from the computer and get started on getting ready! Sophia also needs a bath, or at least her hair needs some special attention.

So, charlie had to go to the vet today, hes ok. I thought it was worse than it was, but the vet gave us an anti-biotic to help make him better. He's ok. Or will be ok.

Alright, gotta jet. I need a shower and to get my hair done for the church directory picture!

A beautiful day out!

Today is just beautiful out. I have the door open right next to me as I type this and the breeze feels so good. The birds are chirping and the neighbors dog is barking, as usual. I had to bring my two dogs in because they were trying to bark back at Shadow.

Randy is working again today, he went in around 11:30 and will be home around 6, only to turn around and go back at 7-1. I hate mondays. I used to look forward to them, his day off, our day as a family. But the past month its been the same thing. He is home for about 40 mins in the evening and back to work. The paycheck is nice and its to pay our silly credit cards off... so I guess we dont deserve to see each other right now. The pay checks he has been bring home have been very nice. The one card we thought would take a year to pay off is down to 6 months left. That is a huge blessing. It lightens the load a bit every month. We are still not out of the woods yet though.

I am feeling sorta crumby. I have a cold *sniffle* and I just can't get rid of it! I've done all the tricks to get rid of it without taking medicine, but I just am at a loss. I want it gone! Maybe a nap will do the trick.

Currently I'm reading the sisterhood of the traveling pants and there are three more books after this one. I am more than half way done with the first and I intend on reading once I finish this. The book reminds me of my friends from SRBC days. We spent the summers together but the school year we all went our own ways. No matter what, the summers would bring us all together again. I miss those days. I do however enjoy my life now. I love my husband and the life we have created together. My daughter is beautiful and I can't imagine not having her. Speaking of sophia, she hits her mattress anymore and is asleep in 30 seconds. I guess her bed is magical because it never tkaes her long! She may let out a scream, but once she realizes its a good thing, she doesn't fight it and gives in to sleep. she got that from her daddy. I dont fall asleep that fast!

Alright, off to book world! Have a nice day!

How Great is Our God!

So today has been a good day. God is so good. He gives strength to get out of bed in the morning, he gave me a new day! I am blessed to have another opportunity to serve Him!

Tonight I am going to a dinner theatre with another couple. Randy is suppoed to be home at 5:30 because we have to leave at 6. The babysitter is coming at 6, so hopefully sophia will do well with a sitter tonight. We left her over night last night, so this is two nights in a row. At least this time she is at home and with her own toys not somewhere else.

I was thinking of all the good God has done, and even the bad has turned out good. He doesn't do "bad" but the things that have gone wrong in my mind have turned out good actually! I'm so blessed to serve a God who lvoes me for who I am and will never waiver in that! How many of you can say that about anyone in your life? Even Randy will love me less on days, but not my God! I am so undeserving of this love of HIS but yet he has given it me! It was also a free gift. How many times in your life is anything free? The only side to it, I get to serve Him! How can taht be a terrible thing? Not at all!!! I get the biggest smile on my face when I think about the awesomeness of my God and how much He loves me!

Also, I am only responsible for myself! I can't be judgemental of anyone else because I only have to stand before God someday and account for all my actions, not the ones of others! Thats awesome as well! Do I love everyone? Well, I try, but there are some that are harder to love than others! But God has given me the power to love. I absoultely love that about HIM!!!

OK, I need to go, get Sophia's dinner going to Braida K can feed her when she gets here and I also need to clean a little more! Yikes for a messy house!!!!

Have a great night all!

What a day!

So today started out very early, at 3:30 Sophia was kicking her legs and making her crib hit the wall that our bedroom shares with hers. Randy nicely rolls over and wakes me up so I go take care of her. She wasn't really awake, but just wanted to wake us up I guess. Finally got her back down around 4. *yawn*

So Randy got up and fed SOphia breakfast then went and looked for his wedding ring. Shortly after he started looking he found it! Praise the Lord! I was ready to go buy him a new one, but he was going to look for it with a metal detector first. Good thing because there isn't the spare cash right now to buy a new ring!

He took the day off today and just had family time. We went to Meijer and ate at the deli, then looked at baby stuff, and found an awesome kitchen for Sophia. It is just like the one at the church nursery and so it was a great buy! I'm actully buying one for my niece for her birthday because Brittian, my sister-in-law talked about wanting one for her. Then we went and tried our key in a new Chevy truck, we didn't win it but we did win an ipod! woohoo! Randy has talked about wanting one so good for him. Then we went to Walmart, Target and Tractor Supply. It was an all around great day.

We got home, got the bikes ready, cleaned out the van and went and picked up a stroller buggy for behind the bike and went for a bike ride. Wow! My legs are sore but it was great. Now we have the buggy for behind, we are going to try to bike more often. It is great exercise and so we should do it right?

Now I am home, very tired from a long day and ready for sleep! Tomorrow Caidan comes at 7:30 so I need to sleep to be ready for him. He leaves and shortly after I have to go to the church for THE BIG EVENT. Sophia will sleep over at her adopted Grandmas house for the night and Randy and I will take the kids to an outreach event. I'm a little nervous about going but I'm sure it will be fine.

WHEW what a day what a post! Sorry to give you a boring play by play. Maybe tomorrow night or sat I'll update you on how Awesome the God is that I serve and tell you all what HE has been doing in my life. It's truly amazing!!


Until then! Goodnight all!

Just a ring

Yesterday was a very interesting day. It was beautiful out! So tht was good.

Around 2 I get a call from Kathy wanting me to go to the softball game with her to see Stacy (her daughter) play. Since Randy was going to do some yard work for a lady who needed help, I thought sure. So I packed some snacks and juice and milk for Sophia and off we went. First of all, she has a bit of a diaper rash right now, so she is a little fussy from that, and so that made a long night. We didn't have the stroller so there wasn't a chance for her to sleep while I pushed her, so she spent the time in my arms or walking around and falling every 2 seconds. So we went to the car and we both fell asleep. Much needed on both parts.

We get to the Blackwells for American Idol and Randy called and said he was wrapping up and would be there soon. Around 8:15 or so. Now he is at a second place working for the evening. Well, there he was raking and lost his wedding band. Not a big deal, we'll get him a new one. It doesn't make him less married or anything. I kinda hope we dont find it, because he purchased that band before we met, and I want him to wear one that I buy him, or that we bought together. I know its a silly ring, it doesnt make him any less married to me by not wearing one. I just like him to have one. I want people to know he is married : )

So he didn't get home until after 9. I was already home from watching American Idol and had a terrible headache. I hadn't eaten enough so that is what caused that one. So I was laying on the floor with Sophia who would occasionally snuggle me, then get up and run and play. She is a sweet heart! So he came home and gave her a bath, which I thought she would scream because of the diaper rash, but she didn't.

He put her to bed and I was super hungry. I really wanted a hamburger from burger king with ketchup only. Yeah, craving? Its only the beginning too. So he ran out to the store and picked up a burger and small fries for me. He got home, I was sleeping. I woke up though, ate the burger, felt very sick, like I was going to throw up. But instead fell asleep.

So, it was a long day. I haven't seen Randy for more than an hour during the day since Sunday. It is now Wednesay, and he is busy at church working. This is staring to wear on me. Working a second job that is. I like the fact to dig our way out of debt, but this? Is it really worth not seeing him? I have to keep telling myself its only temporary. Probably for the summer and then he'll be back to only his main job. Hopefully by then we will have eliminated a few debts and will be comfortable again.

NOW, Caidan is here for the day, and he wont stop crying. I dont know what else I could do, i changed him, fed him, well tried to, and he pushed it away. What am I supposed to do? He wants my undivided attention, and well, there are things I need to do. He stopped and is playing. Now Sophia is awake and I need to go get her and hopefully the two will play and have a good afternoon.

Alright, enough venting, talk to you all later!

a long time coming

So, I haven't posted in a few days.
Much has happened since I last posted. Mothers day, I called my mom and all four of my siblings were there at "home" I of course started to cry but tried to hide the fact so my mom wouldn't be sad too. It didn't work. She of course knew. Living 7 hours away makes it hard to go home. Especially since gas here is now $4 a gallon!

Dont get me wrong, I love living in Michigan. What we have here is awesome and I can see God at work, but it doesn't make me miss my family all being together any less! Out of all my siblings, I think I enjoy everyone being together the most! When someone isn't there its not the same. I have a great family, everyone who is married in makes the family complete. I love my siblings, but now we have all been married long enough for those friendships to have really developed. I am truly blessed to have a great family!!

Randy says he is coming home early today to spend some time with me and Sophia before American Idol. We will probably go to the park and let Sophia play. She really loves beign outside and playing on the play yard!

Alright, I need to go get the laundry folded and get the kitchen clean. My only two goals for today. If you would see how much I have to do, you would say those are very lofty goals for one day : ) I have had little motivation lately to do any of the above. I've been se exhasted and when Sophia is down I find myself wanting to lay down as well. She is down right now, but no nap for me! I have to get stuff done!

LAter!!

What a day

I wont have time to post later today, and I have so much on my mind right now!

When I was having my m/c a few months ago, I remember pulling out my bible and just reading and crying and pouring my heart out to God. I remember in those moments where I was truly calling out to Him, a peace. A peace that it was ok I was loosing that baby. That HE would deliver me through it! No matter what would happen, no matter what else would come, HE would always be there!!!

How many of you have a friend like that? Honestly, my husband is great, but he is human and I know there would be a day, if it hasn't happend already, where he would let me down. Any let down at all! God has never let me down! Sure I have been upset and confused and not sure why certain things have happend to me, but I know HE Is still there!

The theme of our church camp this summer is WOW! And when I start to really step back and look at what God is doing and what all He has done I can't stop saying and thinking Wow! Next time you are starting to feel down and start to have a pity party, just step back and do that. Look at the sky full of stars and think, who put them there? Then imagine a newborn baby and think, who gave us this baby? The same giant hands that hung the stars in the sky also put that tiny baby together. That doesn't make you go wow, then I'm not sure you are human!!!

Ok, we are having some company over tonight from church, so I need to get away from this computer and get stuff done! Like, clean off the table, wash the table clothe, thaw the chicken, oh the list seems longer than I can think of right now. My head is starting to hurt a little too, hmmm.

Later! Thanks for reading!

A day off

I was supposed to have a 2 year old today for a friend.... turns out she woke up not feeling well and didn't want to expose her to my little girl. I was relieved from that phone call. I wouldn't have minded at all, looking forward to it actually. But, I needed a day of rest.

I have'nt been feeling all that well lately, and to be honest, I just want the weekend to come, or next week a certain visitor to arrive and relieve my mind. I'm either pregnant or going crazy. (dont vote for the second). There is a good chance I am, but its still way early to know for sure. Unless I did a blood test, but those costs money. So I am playing the waiting game.

AFter having a miscarriage almost 2 months ago, it reallly hurts the thought of could be and then not being. I want another baby, I have such a desire to nurture and bring another baby into this world. I have a feeling with number two our family may be complete. Things are tight financially with my husband and I and I'm not sure a third baby would help that. Unless this baby is twins... then I have no choice than to have three! Listen to me, 'this baby' I'm not even sure I"m pregnant yet! What am I talking about.

My mom on the phone today said, "the fun is in the trying right?" you have to know my mom, that is way of her normal to say something like that. I was just taken back by it and sorta laughted a bit. I told Randy after we talked and he just laughed, and agreed with her.

Speaking of Randy, he is out working again tonight. I'm exhausted thinking about the hours he has been logging. Between the church and the second job cleaning I'm so in love with him even more! He is working so hard to provide for our family... to get us out of stinking comsumer debt. STuff we don't need, yet he is committed to get us out of debt. Hopefully by this time next year we will owe no money to credit cards and then we can focus on paying off my van and then our house!

Alright, I'm feeling sorta yucky tonight, like I could throw up and just not good. So I'm taking my dogs and going to bed. When Randy works late, I take them to the bedroom and they sleep on the bed till he comes home. Then they go to there corner. We have this nice entry way at our house thats off to the side of our front door and its perfect for the dogs! Its big enough for them both to spread out and sleep at night. IT is a great spot for them. We put a baby gate up and block them in there so Charlie doesn't go through the house and pee wherever he likes. (he does that sometimes)

Sophia has been in bed for over an hour now, so goodnight!

The start of the week

So today is Randy's usual day off... however he is working today until 6, hes been gone since 8. I'm not really able to be upset because we ned the money, however, I do miss him.

The job he started early this morning was for a guy at church who is in his 70's and can't take care of his yard. My sweet loving husband takes care of that. He also was to work today at 11:20 for his second job workiing until 6. That too is mowing and taking care of the cemetary in town. I know we need the money and I know I shouldn't complain, but I miss him. He has been working this new job for almost 2 weeks now, and really, I haven't seen him much in the past two weeks. One night last week he did call a babysitter over and we went and had dinner, but then we went straight home because he was very tired. I just dont know what to with myself. Sophia is napping and thats a great thing, but I can only clean so much and once its done, then what?

Oh Lord help me to fill my time with things that please you! Help me to focus on you during my days so that I dont have down time! Give Randy safety as he mows and help him to be a light for you!

I'm so glad I have this relationship with a God who is loving, just and one that has forgiven me of every sin! Its an awesome feeling! Do I still sin? Yes, but I dont sin because I know I am forgivn, I sin because I am human. I will never not sin, until someday I am in glory standing face to face with my Savior. I live my life now so that I try not to sin. I dont want to purposefully hurt my God. If you want to know more, PLEASE ask. Dont live another day without knowing the truth. I am usually avaiable.

Sophia is awake. I need to go some love from her. She gives the best hugs and snuggles!

Another saturday

So today is saturday, Randy is working, again all day, so I'm on my own. There is a ladies tea at church today and I plan on going. We are supposed to wear a hat, but I dont own a hat other than a tigers hat.... which is not what they had in mind, so I'll just go and borrow one. A lady who invited me said there would be extra for me to wear if I didn't get one before hand. I had a cute white hat, but I think it got lost in the move, one of them! (We've moved three times in the past 1 1/2!)

Randy is working today, he left almost an hour ago. I found his cell phone on th bed though, so hopefully I'll be able to swing by the place where he is mowing and drop it off to him. Not that he can really use it while he is mowing, but you know, he likes to have it around. Me, I sometimes forget I have a phone and just leave it at home or keep the ringer tunred off. I have been doing better lately though!!

Let's see, not much else is going on. The Kentucky Derby is on tv today, which the only real importance to me was almost marching in it 9 years ago. I was a freshman in high school and it fell the over the weekend of the biggest track meet of the year... my coaches were telling me I was needed for the meet and so I couldn't go. I wasn't to bummed about it though, I would have rather ran in the track meet than march in a parade! I think I scored some points that meet and helped my team to a sizeable victory :)

Well, I have an hour before I leave, maybe 45 mintues because I have to stop and get gas, so I should wrap this up and go get dressed for the tea. Not sure what to wear really. Sophia is in a cute little skirt and top. She is cute in anything though!!

So, I have one sleeping baby, and one baby sitting next to me eating, then she will also be sleeping : )

Sophia requires sleep. She is a great and happy baby girl, if she has had proper sleep. LAst night, it was 8:30 when she went to bed. Today, it was just before 8 that she woke up. I think she only woke up because Caiden came and the dogs barked and there was noise in the house. Regardless, it was a good night sleep : )

Randy and I went out to dinner last night, but we probably wont go to that one again. We went to an A&W fast food store, and it was attached to a gas station/mini mart place. The service was really slow and the people that were there were very interesting. IT wasn't very clean lookign either. But, we ate and then, walked around Pamida just for something to do. Then we went home and relieved the babysitter. We just needed a chance to be together without Sophia, well, I needed a small break from her : )

Alright, need to get the little girl cleaned up so her toys dont get all messy from breakfast!

May 1

Sophia is now 13 months old. Hard to believe she is now not just a year, but a year and a month. When I first thought I was pregnant, or didn't know what was going on, it was such a feeling. I thought I was getting the flu. Ha... look at the flu now! she is supposed to be taking a nap and is screaming instead. which of course woke up Caiden, the little guy I am watching. So now, I have two crying babies, but I"m pretty sure they both will go back to sleep. maybe...

So, I am playing the waiting game. I want to be pregnant again, and I am now waiting to take a test. I am super crabby today and just in a blah sorta mood. I know the only thing I can control is my attitude, but I'm having a terrible time controlling it! I guess the thought of not beign pregnant, or worse, having another miscarriage, is making me be in a sour mood. I am so happy for my friends who are pregnant right now, but honestly, if I see one more commerical on tv or another teen girl at the mall walking around with a big ol' belly, I'll cry! I can't be one of those women who can't handle being around a preggo lady, or a newborn. It hurts, I"m not going to lie. I see ultrasound pictures and hear ladies talk about the weird cravings and I just want it to be me.

Thats where I am at. Wanting another baby but yet waiting. Sophia is so perfect and I love her so much. I'm so thankful to have such a beautiful daughter! She is learning so much and her words are starting to sound like something now! I talk to her constantly and watch how she tries to talk back to me. Its so great to see how she is trying! This morning she was sitting face to face to Caidan on the floor and seh was leaning in and looking at him in the face talking to him. Moving her little head with her words. Like, you know what I'm talking about buddy? It was adorable. ITs fun to see her interact with a little person. THe other children at the church are older, and wont sit and play with her like Caiden, who can't move, will do. Its great to watch.

Well, Caiden is awake and not sure he will go back to sleep. I need to go lay him back down. I'll keep you updated.