May 1

Sophia is now 13 months old. Hard to believe she is now not just a year, but a year and a month. When I first thought I was pregnant, or didn't know what was going on, it was such a feeling. I thought I was getting the flu. Ha... look at the flu now! she is supposed to be taking a nap and is screaming instead. which of course woke up Caiden, the little guy I am watching. So now, I have two crying babies, but I"m pretty sure they both will go back to sleep. maybe...

So, I am playing the waiting game. I want to be pregnant again, and I am now waiting to take a test. I am super crabby today and just in a blah sorta mood. I know the only thing I can control is my attitude, but I'm having a terrible time controlling it! I guess the thought of not beign pregnant, or worse, having another miscarriage, is making me be in a sour mood. I am so happy for my friends who are pregnant right now, but honestly, if I see one more commerical on tv or another teen girl at the mall walking around with a big ol' belly, I'll cry! I can't be one of those women who can't handle being around a preggo lady, or a newborn. It hurts, I"m not going to lie. I see ultrasound pictures and hear ladies talk about the weird cravings and I just want it to be me.

Thats where I am at. Wanting another baby but yet waiting. Sophia is so perfect and I love her so much. I'm so thankful to have such a beautiful daughter! She is learning so much and her words are starting to sound like something now! I talk to her constantly and watch how she tries to talk back to me. Its so great to see how she is trying! This morning she was sitting face to face to Caidan on the floor and seh was leaning in and looking at him in the face talking to him. Moving her little head with her words. Like, you know what I'm talking about buddy? It was adorable. ITs fun to see her interact with a little person. THe other children at the church are older, and wont sit and play with her like Caiden, who can't move, will do. Its great to watch.

Well, Caiden is awake and not sure he will go back to sleep. I need to go lay him back down. I'll keep you updated.