Slow Fade

I've heard the song, Slow Fade, by Casting Crowns before, but I heard it just now while eating lunch with Sophia and it really hit me!

The one line said, people dont crumble in a day, families dont crumble in a day... and it really made me think!

It is so easy to slowly fade away from Christ and the relationship one has built with him. For me, I think I am a good person, I love God and I have a relationship, I have put my faith and trust in Him. I know if I were to die today, I would be in the presence of my Savior in heaven, but I have become so content staying where I am comfortable! I want to be comfortable, but I also want to make my life count for something, I want to do something with the life God gave me!

We are reading Dont Waiste your Life by John Piper in our sunday school class. I have read the book before, but only got half way through because its hard to read and be told that you are waisting your life. This life isn't mine... I didn't do anything to deserve it. God has given me this life... He gives me every breath I breath, so why don't I in return, use every breath I breath for HIS glory?

I watch Sophia and Elliot and think of the kind of mother I want to be for them. I want to be the mom that they can tell their friends they want to be like. A woman who fears God and strives to please Him.

Yesterday was a rough day... Sophia was really pushing my buttons and the limits. I told Randy I wasn't sure if I would make it to her 5th birthday because she was going to make me go crazy. But I was trying to raise her alone, without asking God for help.

A friend asked me yesterday how I manage children and a husband, how do I spread my time out. I think its hard, but you have to remember, I was a wife first then a mom. I need to treasure my time with Randy and really guard that special time so our relationship doesn't suffer. I want my children to see that I am in love with Randy. I dont want them to think their parents dont love each other, because we do.

So many new things racing through my head today. I want to write a book, but it would be all random thoughts and random pieces and no one would ever read it. thats ok.

I start back to "work" today. The littel boy I watch is coming at 1 till 6. Sophia is down for a nap so hopefully she'll wake up after he is here and will be in a good mood.

Ok, my random thoughts are done... just thought I would share.