One crazy week

Who would have thought that having four children in the house would be hard. Its not really. Just have to manage it well. But the four children in my house make for an interesting time.

The four year old. He is a great boy. He listens well and always plays nicely. He is however getting a tad homesick. Which isn't a good combo when the momma who is thousands of miles away, is also homesick. Not a good combo to let them talk on the phone right before he goes to bed and she has to go out to dinner. Woops.

The two year old is a week into potty training. It wasn't my idea to start her last week, but she started wanting to, so we ran with it. I want to put her in a diaper, I want to give in and fold like a deck of cards and give in to her whining and put her in a diaper. But what is that teaching her? I feel there is no going back now. She still pees her underwear because she simply could care less if she is wet because she doesn't want to stop playing to pee on the toilet. Plus she can be mean, and I really dont know where that is coming from. She pushes, hits and even bites. She'll be a delight in preschool! Hopefully she will outgrow this phase or whatever it is.

The 11 month old, Elliot. My oh my. He is getting his top eye teeth, let me just tell you its not been fun at night. He wakes up just screaming, and for fear of the other three waking up, I hurry to get him, or Randy does, and I nurse him, give him tylenol and calm him down. Its not been just once a night that this happens, but maybe twice (only give tylenol once though)

Then the 5 month old baby. Bless his little heart, he sleeps 12 hours a night, but during the day he doesn't like to be put down for long. I think its cause his momma hasn't had a need to put him down very much. And thats ok, just makes it hard for me, who has to put him down a few times more than normal just to make breakfast/lunch/dinner and feed Elliot.

So, can you tell its been a stresful week at my house? I offered to watch my friends kids so her and her husband could get away for the week. I know my friend misses them like crazy and is homesick for them, but before the kids came along, there was her and her husband, and someday, her boys will be grown and off to college and there will be her and hubby time once again. I just know how important those times are.

Oh and lets not forget my two fur babies. Who seem to think they need to go outside every five minutes but then they bark at every fall snowflake and that gets annoying as well. So they are spending some quality time in their kennels this week. I dont feel bad, they dont get cooped up like that for long times and usually dont see the kennels every day, so they need a little time in there.

So thats my week. Am I crazy for taking on this adventure with children here all the time all week, maybe sure.

Wanna know a secret, lol, tomorrow Riley comes and then friday Riley and Caidan both come, so thats right, 6 children by friday. AND the two houseguests dont leave until Sunday at some point, I'll get them to church and their parents will meet them there. A full entire week with them.

Am I ready for a third baby of my own? Bring it on!

615 is way to early

Having a bad dream, mixed with jumping out of bed at 6:15 not knowing what time it was and hoping you weren' late is NOT how I like to start my mondays. I know my response is my responsibility and thus I need to check my attitude at the door or else this week is going to drag on by.

I was waiting for Riley to come today and what to I hear, sophia is up and beside the couch. Not wanting to go back to bed or even go lay in my bed with Randy (and Elliot) she wanted the cartoons. I knew that once Riley got there she would NOT be going back to bed and I would be up. Well, do you know what you get with a 2 year old who didn't sleep long enough, mixed with a boy who isn't used to the hosue and wanting to play with the toys (that the sleepy two year old thinks are hers....)

Its 930 and I'm exhausted. I have a headache creeping up and its only a matter of time before its a full blown headache.

But instead of keeping this post about all the negative going, I am going to turn it around and just start listing all the positives going for me.

1. woke up in a warm bed with a very sweet little boy next to me (elliot)
2. have a husband who loves me and wants to work hard to provide for our family
3. i have a job! it may be working from home doing daycare, but I have a little income to help out!
4. my daughter, as tired as she may be today, is still my daughter =)

Ok, so the list could go on and on, but I am needing to stop for now. Instead of focusing on the bad thigns that may be in front of you today, stop and push them aside and look at the good. See, God doesn't want us to focus on the bad, he wants us to glorify him in whatever we do, and by focusing on the bad its like we are telling God we are unhappy with what HE has provided! How truly selfish!

I challenge you (whoever may be reading this) to really strive today to find the good in every situation placed in front of you. Instead of complaining to others, pour out your heart to God, cry out to Him.He wants to hear from you today! I need to do better at making him my first conversation of the day... instead of my last resort when things are tough.

So much on my mind

Lately, I've been bursting to share what I've been learning. God has really been using our pastors messages to teach me and to get my attention. I hate missing sunday mornings! He has been sharing and preaching on love. How to love others and what that looks like. I have to tell you, I do not love like I am supposed to!

But, I've also been reading a book.Its been on my shelf for a few years now. I think it was a wedding present and I never got past page 16. I really truly believe it was because the words on the page I wasn't ready to change and to read with an open mind. I wasn't ready to submit what I wanted to what God has for me. Well, I picked the book up a few days ago.. and WOW!!!

So you are probably wondering what book has got my attention... Loving God with all your mind by Elizabeth George. I've read some of her books in the past, but this book is just so good right now. Its talked about focusing on the truth, not playing the 'what if' game and really getting you to think on truth. If it isn't true, then its sin, and dwelling on it means you are sinning.

I am a dreamer, and there is nothing wrong with that, but I often find myself day dreaming of winning 10,000 dollars or other good things to happen to me, and that carries my mind into this fantasy land of getting a bigger house, new clothes, a new car.... then I find myself un happy with what is around me. Instead of looking at what is true around me, I find myself depressed that what I have isn't good enough. What kind of life is that! Not a fun one thats for sure!

The most recent chapter I finished was on fear. Fear can be a paralyzing thought in my world. I fear so many things that sometimes I am robbed of a blessing simply because I am to afraid of what might happen.

This is an exerpt from the book:

Nothing will ever happen to you that god does not already know about. (Psalm 139:1-4)
Nothing will ever happen to you that is a mistake. (Paslm 139:4,16)
Nothing will ever happen that you cannot handle by God's power and grace. (2 Cor 12:9-10)
Nothing will ever happen to you that will not eventually be used by God for some good purpose in your life. (Romans 8:28)
Nothing will ever happen to you without Gods presence. (Matthew 28:20)
Nothing will ever separate you from God's love. (Romans 8:38-39)

If you are really looking to have change and want to truly love God better and with your whole heart, I encourage you to pick this book up and read it. Get past the first 16 pages, and really prayerfully read this book. It is helping me get through my days and its ultimately drawing me close to God, the one who put me on this earth!



Those 6 simple truths are so reassuring and so comforting.

Love.... is not...

So I've been hearing some great messages lately at church. Lately, its been about Love and the passage in I Corinthians 13, where it defines love and what it is and what it isn't. What a great reminder to hear on sunday!

One of the main points was love isn't jealous. When someone gives you a gift, do you look around the room and say, no I dont want this one, I want that one and point to a gift given to someone else? Of course not! So why do you look around at what others have and say, I want that! God has given you what you have, for a reason. So as if that wasn't enough of a challenge, I really started looking at my life and seeing many signs of this in my own life. Wanting more than I had, wanting what others had/have! It really made me just step back and look at my blessings in my life. I am trul blessed. I may not have the biggest house or a new car, but I have a house, and I have a car. That right here is more than enough reason to be happy and to thank God for those blessings!

One question that Randy asked me, if the only thing God ever did for you, was to die on the cross, and didn't bless you with good things ever again, would you still be happy and content and would you still be able to praise Him? Truthfully, that is so hard to answer! I am human and like to be comfortable. I like my 'things' but wow! Dying on the cross to save me of my sins should be enough, but would it?!

I walked away from church on sunday with a heavy heart. With alot on my mind. Good things none the less, but need for change.

My vehicle history

I'm an emotional person, I get attached to things and have a hard time parting with them. Everything you ask? No, just my cars.

Growing up, we drove one van for most of my childhood into my teen years, a 1988 WHITE plymouth voyager. Oh that van was ugly but it tough msyelf and my 4 siblings to drive.... it braved many storms, and never died. Broke down, yes, many times, but it kept on kicking. I believe hurricane katrina eventually took that great van down. It was parked at Slippery Rock Baptist Camp and when the storm flooded western PA it sunk that van.

My first car was a 1995 pontiac grand am. I drove that most of my senior year of high school. Talk about spoiled, I saw it at a local auto shop where my dads friend fixed cars, sat in it, and said I would love to drive this car home. Well, lo and behold, a few days later it was in my driveway. It wasn't 'mine' but my dad bought it for me to drive to school and where I needed to go, but ever a time he needed it, he trumped me.

Well, that trusty lil green went many miles with me. From my senior year of high school through the summer after my second year of college. All the way to the norther part of Wisconsin (and back a few times)

After the thought of me traveling to the northern Wisconsin in my grand am, my dad made a switch and bought me a 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee. I loved that jeep. Red. pretty. So nice.

I then moved on from there to a 1999 grand am. black. oh so pretty again! I drove that one for a little over a year, then I got married.

My dad decided to let Randy and I take the Jeep and the black grand am to michigan. woot! Two paid off vehicles, sweet!

Then the madness truly began. In January of 2006, we traded the grand am for a 2003 Buick LeSabre.... talk about a grand ma car, but wow that was a nice car. I loved it. Not at first of course, but it turned out to be a great car. We drove that car for over 2 years.... closer to 3 actually when we had this brilliant idea, sell it, buy a van!

At this point, we have a jeep, I loved, and a buick that was almost paid off. So what do we do, go buy a van, sell our Jeep (sniff sniff) and then we sold our car (sniff sniff) and have a 2003 ford windstar. Thats it.

We made it a summer with only one. Then we started itching to find something else, something to not leave me stranded at home wihout a car. So we were given a 1995 GMC safari van, I call big blue.

Recently, we sold our van *thud head on wall* and bought a 2003 pontiac bonneville ssei... which means its fast and loaded with alot of fun options. I still watned a van though.... just makes sense to hvae a van over a car with kids.

Can you guess what we did with the bonneville, sold it. yup thats right its gone. What are we driving? an old van that I wonder if it will start each time we go to put the key in. Are we looking for a van now, yes, but with no luck. We've gone back and forth on waiting vs. buying one now. Trying to save money but having the desire to have something more dependable.

I am almost immune to it now. I used to be emotional when we sold our car, but now its almost a given, we have a car and it wont be long that we are looking to get rid of it. *sigh* what a nightmare right?

I look forward to the next van we buy, in hopes we actually have it longer than any of the other vehicles we have owned.

We've been married now over 4 years.... we have had (owned) buick regal, jeep grand cheeroke, pontiac grand am, buick lesabre, ford windstar, gmc safari, pontiac bonneville..... so the next one we buy will make 8 for us....

I need a little stability here!!! hehe

Adventure in movie land

Randy is at a golf marathon all day. He left this morning at 6 AM. What was I going to do with my day? I have a great idea, why dont we go to the movies! A friend called and invited me to see Toy Story and Toy STory II in 3D. I said yes, not really thinking about what I was saying yes to.

My daughter has the attention span of a two year old, funny, she is 2. Elliot doesn't sit still long either, always trying to get down. Not really a place to put him down at the movies.

We bought our tickets, went to get food. I orderd popcorn a drink and a kid drink... well how was I supposed to carry all this? The lady must have heard me wrong because somehow I got a LARGE popcorn and drink, and Sophia got a kids meal. So the lady was like, do you want me to help you carry something. Oh that was a nice offer.

We get to our seats.... I set Elliot down in a chair, then proceed to take everything from the nice lady who helped me. So we made it to our seats. Good.

The movie starts, everything is goig good. Did I mention it was in 3D? Which means not wearing your glasses for a long time made your eyes hurt (remember that fact) Sophia sat still for a few minutes, then lost her glasses, she handed them to me. I started to feed Elliot and bam, he is asleep. Good. Then I smelled something, whats that horrible smell... oh yes, Sophia pooped. I got the wipes and a diaper and went to the bathroom. Changing a diaper of a 2 year old, with a 8 month old baby on the changing table, not easy. We made it back to our seats.

It was all down hill from here. The first movie got over and Sophia was ready to be done. Two movies was way to much for her little attention span. I took Elliot and changed him. he left a nice wet spot on my lap... thank you son.

Movie two started... and Sophia didn't want to sit still. I began nursing Elliot again, this is the third time mind you... its a comfort thing for him, hoping he would fall asleep.... almost to sleep... Sophia kicked my HUGE bucket of popcorn and it went all over the floor. *thud head* oh no. Oh wait, whats that smell, yes, you guess it, Sophia pooped a second time. Well, toy story II, why not poop a second time. So I took them to the bathroom again, but before I could get out of the theatre she starts yelling, change my diaper, I pooped! ahhhhh!!

After that we should have left. She just wouldn't sit still and was yelling at me when I treid to talk to her. REasoning with a two year old shouldn't happen, she should listen to me because I"m her mom right??? YEAH RIGHT!

I was smart and packed a baggie full of suckers, which kept her in her seat the last half of the second movie. We made it... but my eyes hurt because Elliot kept grabbing my glasses off my face and so I watched most of the movie(s) without them.

I kept glanceing at my friend, who invited us, and her 4 year old sat and watched both movies no problem and her baby (almost 3 months) drank his bottle and slept the whole time with nothing more than a tiny peep the whole time. I'm glad for her.

I tell you, for Sophia's first experience EVER in a movie theatre she did great. Now all she can talk about was the movie and all the suckers she had.... *thud head on floor* Im a sucker for thinking she would be fine!

Next time we go to the theatre as a family, she'll be able to pay herself because I dont think that is an experience I want to have for a long time!

A turned down offer

So we had a guy come look at our car. ITs a 2003 Pontiac Bonneville SSEI... which means its supercharged and super-fast..... for lack of better word I guess. Well, he called last night and made an offer. I never thought we would turn down and offer. I want a van and thought as soon as we get an offer we would take it and I would have my van... wrong.

He didn't offer us enough and when Randy said how much he wants to get out of it, the guy said his offere was the most he would go. That was the end of that. Oh well. I know we can't afford a change right now.... you always lose out on the deal when making a change on a car, so we better just it on our car, keep paying for it monthly and be happpy. I am happy with it. Just relaly want a van. I guess someday I will.

I feel God will bless us. For not being impatient and just jumping on this first offer. If we dont sell it, then we wait and pay it off and then buy a van... either way. It will work.

Just wanted to share, that I am proud of our choice. The easy thing could have been to jump on that offer and then be out searching for a van and wanting to pay too much for a van that is above our means. So this way, it saved us money.

Now onto my day! Stil in my car and thats ok : )

A hidden blessing

God is soooo good, All the time.

I was cleaning Sophia's room, looking to see what she had, what fit her and what didn't, putting clothes away that didn't and figuring how many pairs of pants she would need to get by for the fall/winter. I realized she was in need of new pants. WIth a bit of worry, I realized on the new found budget we have, and the off relationship I have with visa, mastercard, and discover, just going to the store and buying new was not an option. So I just continued about my day and didn't want to think about it.

I moved into Elliots room where I saw the basket of clothes I was ignoring, for a month or more at this point. clothes that people have given us, that I just didn't have time to go through and see what to keep, what to pass on. Well, in that basket were 4 pairs of size 3t pants, the size she will need for this fall/winter as well as shirts, sweaters, and a columbia winter coat and snow pants. WOW! I do not need to worry about her clothes, because she is set for this upcoming seasons!

I am amazed at how God works. I want to always be amazed at how he works too. I never want to just expect things to happen, but yet be thankful when they do and thankful for then dont. God has his reason why some things we pray for and ask dont happen. He sees the whole puzzle, we only see a piece... so he knows what will fit in our lives and what won't.

I'm so thankful for the provision He has given us. For the watching out and knowing our every need. My children both have plenty of clothes now for the upcoming seasons and I know its because God watches out for us.

Now I just need to be ok with my daughter wearing size 3T.... she is getting so big. Now onto the potty right?? That would be wonderful!

Part of my problem

The title, part of my problem, is funny. I have many problems, most I know about am are trying to fix.

I'm not pregnant. Thats my problem. AHH!! Instead of focusing on what I have in life, I am looking ahead, still. Do I not realize what being pregnant means? 9 more months of discomfort and pain to go into labor and have that happen all over again. For a few months of not sleeping, pain in nursing, oh and nursing! Not being able to wear whatever I want becuase it has to be easily acsesible to feed the baby. Yes, I would have a baby in the process, but that right there, a third baby?!? Am I nuts? Why yes I am, because I want this baby.

I always said I wouldn't let having a family consume my energy. I wouldn't let that take over my only thoughts. I want to be content with what I have. But I'm seriously struggling right now. I have taken so many tests, thinking, maybe it was just too early. After awhile, negative tests where on you. I am done. I am committed to being done. I will not buy, or take any more tests. Randy isn't ready yet, so why am I pushing this?

God has a plan for my family. The two children I have need my attention. I need to focus my energy on potty training my daughter. I had yet another reminder today of my daughter not being potty trained and the two other little girls at church (same age) are. eyeye. I need to focus on how Elliot is changing daily and if I dont stop and look, he may do something new and I wont see it. I need to shut the computer more than its open and just keep my house clean, keep the laundry caught up and the kitchen cleaned. And most importantly, I need to be the wife to Randy he deserves. I was a wife before I was a mother and I need to get back to that. He is the most wonderful man. I love him more than he knows. I am proud of him for all he does in a day (without ever complaining too)

Actually, most importantly, I need to get my heart right with the Lord. I've been so far, but pretending to be so close. I am only fooling myself at this point. I need to realize why I am on this earth and start living that way. God so desperately wants me back to His side and I keep pushing it off like its not important. God wants to bless us, but if don't allow Him to work in our lives, then He won't. I need to start clinging to the promises of His word. Pastor Doug asked us in sunday school a verse or passage that you have claimed lately. I was so embarressed because I didn't have one lately. I used to, but I couldn't even recall them. I need it. I am like a baby who needs fed every 2 hours, I need fed by the word of God.

I guess that is my problem, not part, but the whole problem. Once that part of my life is line with God, I really believe whole-heartidly that the rest will fall into place. I need to not rush things, they happen fast enough. And besides, I want twins next, and I am pretty sure I would go crazy with twins right now. Elliot better get a little bigger before that happens.

Maybe now I can get to sleep. I have alot on my mind. Thanks for reading.

September 11

On Tuesday, September 11 2001 I woke for school. Just another day. I packed my bag for school, and my bag for cross country. Probably showered and ate breakfast, gave my dad a hug and went out to school. Picked up my friend Jill for school and headed to Butler High school. That day was going to be a normal day, except I was exempt from a few morning classes to pass out the yearbooks from the previous school year. Feeling priviledged, I set up in the conference room. Little did I know, the world I knew was about to change forever.

A little before 9, Mr. Thompson came in with a very solemn face. He said we were under attack and it wasn't good. He was able to turn the tv on in that room (not all the tv's in our school were connected to cable, but that being a conference room, it was.) I couldn't believe what I saw. We were pretty glued to the TV for the next hour.

In that hour, I saw a plane went down in Somerset county. My heart started to race. My best friend Anne lived in Somerset county, was she ok, was her family ok? I needed to know. I wanted to call home and talk to my dad.... thankfully I was able to. I called my dad and he was able to assure me that plane went down in an empty field where no buildings were effected. Whew.

But what was going on? Who would do such a terrible thing to our nation?

I remember going to lunch that day and hearing kids joke about what happened, making fun of the pentagon, and the world trade center, hearing jokes like 'what are they trading there, world things?' I wish I had the courage to stop the jokes right then and there. How rude and ignorant those teens sounded. I may have laughed at a few of the jokes or the stupidity, but looking back now, we were all ignorant teens.

I read on facebook today, should 9/11 be a holiday. To our generation, it is a big deal, to our nation it is a big deal and we wont forget that day. But just like many days in our past, Pearl Harbor, V-Day, days from WWI and WWII that had significant impact on our nation. Will we remember 9/11 , or will we remember is less and less. I look at high school seniors right now, some were 9 or 10 when that day happened, will they really remember the impact of that day? It is up to us to remind them and to teach them what all that day meant.

I know I wont forget. I wont forget about the freedom I so greatly take for granted some days. I forget that people are fighting for our country still today, right now, and I need to be grateful for the freedom I have. The freedom I have is not free.

If you read this, thank a VET today, or a fireman or police office, someone who puts their life in danger on a daily basis to protect you!

Pass it on!!

Some odd cravings

Never go to the grocery store hungry. Should just end this post now. That is enough said, a nice life lesson. But I will elaborate.

I went and I wanted chicken fajitas. So I went to get the chicken, passed the corn dogs on the way, put a box of those in the cart (can I just say, GROSS!) Kept on walking. Past the Orange pop, thought, yum, corn dogs and orange pop.... bought 6 bottles of that. Can't buy the cans, I wanted the bottle. Thought, Oh I want something sweet, but not chocolate. Got some sour gummy worms and fruit chews.

At this point, I am realizing I need to be done and just head to the checkout before I keep adding to my cart.

I pulled out of the parking lot and into Taco Bell and bought one of there fruit freeze (basically a slurpee) and drank that down on the drive home.

After the soccer game and a little time at the park, went and got a large sweet tea from McDonalds... which I put in the fridge and just finished now with my corn dog.

I am not pregnant, but am having some wicked cravings lately. I hope they go away soon, dont think our budget can handle them much longer!

A mometous Evening

So tonight, I was feeding Elliot before bed and Sophia was up and playing. Past her bedtime but thats ok, she's little and its summer (not sure why that makes it ok, but whatever) and our good friend Chris was in the bathroom doing laundry and Sophia was in about ready to brush her teeth when she stopped and said she had to go potty. She proceeds to put the cushion down and the stop stool over and sits up their on her throne. She gets off wipes and says, just a little bit of poop. Hey, a little bit of poop is a HUGE deal to me. That was the first time she went poop on the pot without me asking. It was the first time for that EVER with or without me asking. I just feel like she is getting it. She doesn't like to be pushed in life to do anything she doesn't want to do. But when she decides to do something she is great at it. She never crawled as a baby, just sat there and would fall over until she figured out how to pull herself up then she took off. She has never been one to let things hold her back. Yes, I am talking about my 2 year old. But she is strong willed and stubborn and I love every minute of it. She will never be pushed to do what she doesn't want to. I just pray she continues that in her life when it comes to peer pressure and other things that could be harmful to her. I was cleaning her room out tonight and her and Elliot were sitting and playing. Sophia found the book I read to her last night, Brown Bear Brown Bear, and she was 'reading' it. I have a video I am going to attempt to post now. Hopefully it works.I really am blessed to have what I have in life. I feel God has blessed me and given me the desires of my heart. Sophia and Elliot are such joys and blessings. I am so happy Elliot is still nursing. That I have kept it up as long as I have. I only planned on going 6 months, I never thought it would be this easy and that I would have such a good experience with it. Sophia was so different when it came to eating. She would eat anything from anyone pretty much, but Elliot is much more picky about it. He just wants me. Although I have been spoon feeding him and he ate a ton of food today, three jars of food! He is a growing boy and I dont expect anything less now. Ok, once this video is done uploading I'll post and hopefully I picked the right one... if not, I'll make a new post and add it!

I am the created...

(attempt number two... Elliot was helping and deleted my last post... hehe)


So last night, I had the opportunity to sit under Pastor Doug's teaching. God has blessed him with the gift of teaching and sharing. I am really benefiting from sitting under his ministry in Clare!

So he opened the Word from Matthew 4 where Jesus was fasting and after 40 days, satan came and attempted to TEMPT Jesus. After two failed attempts, satan then made the most ridiculous attempt. He offered Jesus everything in his sight to be his. What is so funny about that, Jesus created everything and it all was his already! Satan must not have been the smartest crayon in the box to not figure that one out! Finally Jesus said, enough with you, be gone, and satan left and the angels came and ministered to Him.

There are two big applications I took home from this bible time. One, there are times in my life I try to plan what is best for me and think i know how to handle mylife better than God. WHen truthfully, I am the created telling the creator what is best. If I was smart, I would just allow God, creator of everything, author of life, to have control! Seems simple but yet having control seems to control me, lol.

The second thing I am taking home from this lesson... even in the midst of trial and temptation... God will be there for you! After you go through a temptation and come out the other side, He will be there to minister to you! Jesus had just fasted for 40 days.... there is no doubt he was hungry after not eating for that amount of time. The angels came and ministered to him, maybe brought him food, or sustained Him in some way. Just like He will do for you when you go through a trial or a hard time!

How awesome! I tell you what, the GOD I serve is awesome. I need to just keep that in mind everyday (all day really) and rest in that truth!

Now onto my living room. Elliot is laying on the floor watching me, wondering when I am going to close this white laptop and come play with him. His sister is in bed, Caidan is sleeping, so he needs some entertainment here! hehe

To the one I love

I've been doing alot of thinking lately about Randy. He is truly the most wonderful man to ever walk into my life. You may read this and think your husband is better, GOOD, I want you to think that. But for me, Randy is the most influential person to ever be a part of my daily life.

It all started that July morning back in 2003. I picked my cousin up for camp that morning and headed to camp, only about 20 minutes from home. I had realized that weekend before, I had never gone any amount of time not liking a guy. I always had someone I was liking at the moment and if I didn't, I thought something was wrong with me. I never just allowed God to have my heart. I was interested in a guy that summer who didn't seem to be at all interested back in me and I was so bummed over it. I let God have control that morning. I told Lexxie on the drive that I was conent and I didn't need to have a guy in my life to be happy.

To make a long story short, I met Randy that day and my life changed. He was everything I wanted in a guy and so much more. We only spent 2 weeks together and many many letters and phone calls and visits later... we are where we are today.

But today, 6 years later, he is still so much to me. I am more in love with him now than I was then. He works so hard to provide for our family. He has a full time job and for awhile was working a second and then a little on the side even still to make ends meet. We make more than enough, God has always provided enough for us, but he was working more and more to just cushion us. To make my security gland feel secure. He is just always thinking of his family and any way to better us.

I never hear him complain or get upset over things. He seems to always have a good attitude about everything. Then there is me, complaining about this or that or in need of some retail therapy because the children are stressing me out. His job can be very stressful, dealing with people is never an easy thing! So out of the two of us, he has room to complain and feel the need to vent, bt yet he never does!

God has truly blessed me with Randy. I thank God every day for giving him to me and not giving me what I wanted when I first graduated or even my freshman year of college. Life sure would be different without him by my side.

I am so proud of what he does and how he handles himself and carries himself. He truly has a heart for people... something that is just plain hard to do! I dont know what I did to deserve such a wonderful, loving, caring husband and father to my two children, but I am thankful!

Thats another side of him, being a dad! He is so good with Sophia and Elliot, he loves thos two so much. He simple adores Sophia and can't wait to play with Elliot when he gets home. He always takes Elliot from me and kisses him and talks to him, then will go to Sophia and play with her. Tonight, he was dancing with her in the living room to her little piano. THey would hit the button for a song and just dance around. It was so cute. I want Sophia to grow up to find a husband like him and I want Elliot to grow up to be like him. That is my prayer for my children.

So its 1230 now.... still not tired but I know tomorrow will be here soon (it already is tomorrow!) and I have two little ones coming around 11 and I need to just be awake and ready for them.

Just was laying in bed next to him and thinking how blessed I am to have him as my husband. I am very thankful for the paths that lead us to each other. The different relationships that molded us to be ready for one another, as painful as they were, I am thankful for them! They made us ready for each other at the same time!

All the little things dont go un-noticed... I have the man for me who completes me, who I can and WILL grow old with. : )

God is so good!

The title of this post is God is so good, and I wonder why I allow myself to be surprised by that... He is good all the time and I need to just stand in awe of that goodness daily!

I have been struggling with wanting more money. Not to buy more things, but to pay off debt and get ourselves in a better position in life. Well, Randy put an add on craigslist for daycare and then we both forgot about it. I got a phone call last night and I am meeting with a mom of two boys tomorrow to talk about me watching her boys! God is so good. Randy also put on the add that the husband was a pastor in a local church (that probably turned people away) but that is what caught this ladies eye. They are lookig for a new church and thought about visiting ours.

If this works out, I'll have three extra boys in home three days a week, but I'll be making at least $75 a week which will help out tremedously!

I told Randy on the way home after setting the time to meet tomorrow with the mom that God wants us to be completely broken and in a position where our entire strength comes from Him before He can truly work. If you hold back, I believe He will too. The blessing will come when you allow Him to work. I often daydream of what would be the best for our family, and when I stop doing that and allow God to just work then good happens!

So pray that the meeting would go well tomorrow (at 10:30) and that I would be open and honest with the mom and now let what I want to shine through, but what God wants to shine the brightest!

This also has made us want to get the family room going to make into the 'daycare' room and really make our home inviting for these little ones and their families. God has given me the ability and the desire to work with little ones and this is just me using that gift!

Sophia....

I figured out my frustration with Sophia yesterday. The child is so smart and usually figures out whatever she wants to do the first time... so whatever it was, walking, talking, eating, riding her tricyle, riding a big bike with training wheels.... she has always been a fast learner. So this potty training thing.... its just not happening. I talk to her about it she gets all excited then she just continues to pee in her underwear or diaper like its not a big deal. *thud forhead*

She was walking and running by 8.5 months... the child has been on the go and seems so big to me, but I have to remember she is only 2, not even 2.5 yet, just 2. So I am getting frustrated for what? One of these days she'll get it right, she'll decide on her own and my worries and frets will all be over what?

I just need to let go of the situation and trust God. He is interested and cares over this matter right? I need to focus on taht and just rely on HIS strenght on the rough days to get me through.

Yesterday, she screamed when I tried to put a diaper on, so we went pee and put on undies. Well we walked into the living room, she turned and looked at me, made eye contact and peed right there. UGH... then she peed again within an hour wearing the undies. So I put her in a diaper. I need a little help with it. I need Randy to be home to help for a few days if this is the way we want to go... BUT that wont happen, so I guess we'll just go on like we are and use diapers. $40 a month.... yup, thats what it is for her!

7 months

I have been meaning to post now for some time. Every day I have a thought that would make a great post, but then I get away from things and I forget all about it. Oh well.

Elliot is now almost 7 months old. I can't believe it. I find the day they turn 7 months is worse than 6 months... he is now closer to a year than a newborn... and my baby is growing up. He has one tooth, crawling and has a very laid back personality. He looks like Sophia but is very much different. I love to see how similar and different they both are.

I have also been so sick lately. I am 99% sure I am not pregnant but yet I am still sick. I finally made an appointment to see our family doctor for next week. I have been dizzy and just yucky feeling. Ha, how is that for a diagnosis!

5 of my January Mamas who had a baby the same time I had Elliot are now pregnant again. Which is great for them, and makes me a little sad. I have the desire to have a bigger family and I know God will provide. I just dont know when the right time is. Having a big family would be great, but the size we have now is also really wonderful in many ways as well. More vacations with a family of 4, more one on one time with a family of 4. But having a big family, more people to play with, more chances to share (hint hint Sophia).

Good thing I dont have to decide right now!

Ok, Sophia just rang the doorbell and said 'mommy, can I come inside' so cute! She is so sandy from her sand box, better put her in the tub and let her play and unwinde before I make her lay down for a nap. She requires sleep. Also a good and bad thing : )

Wow this post has been all over the place... maybe I'll have something to say one of these times!

My crazy life!

Life sure can be crazy and take you for some funny bumpy roads... but if you just stay on the road you'll make it through.

Currently at my house, my sister is here helping paint my dining room and hallway, and to get the kitchen painted. WE are making great progess, but come Monday, I am going to be in PA. Actually, Sunday night Randy is driving me to Ohio where I will spend the night with my brother and his family and then monday morning my dad is coming to pick me up and take me the rest of the way. I'll spend the week with my family and then my dad will drive me back to my brothers house sat morning where Randy will come get me, and then drop me off at the Detroit airport... where I will fly out and meet some of the most wonderful mamas I've ever (not) met. I haven't met any in person yet, but I will be meeting 9 others.

That means there will be 10 of us and 10 6-7 month old babies. WHOA! Thats alot of babies in one place. It will be fun to watch them interact with one another.

I fly home on Sunday and then monday starts another busy week...

My month of July has been busy and will continue to be busy... I hate to have it all planned, but am loving what I get to do this month!

Considering... two nights of fireworks, a church carnival, a week with my sister, a week in PA with my family, a weekend with friends in baltimore, and a week at the Springs while Randy is speaking... can't get much better than that!

I need to focus on all the good I have in my life to take my mind from the bad... there is alot of stuff that I would love to rid of my life, but God knows what He is doing and I just need to keep on trusting!

Ok, back to painting... almost bed time for my sweet Sophia... whew!!

4th Anniversary

Today is my 4th anniversary, and I have to say, its not what I expected.

I haven't even seen Randy today, he left the house around 3 AM to drive to Indiana with a friend so the friend could buy his new car.... that is just the background details.

8:50--- went to the store, or tried to, ran over something, hmm, what is that noise... pull over, oh yes, two keys stuck in my tire, tire losing air, lovely.

9:00--- got to the Blackwells house. thankfully, mike, a guy randy knows drove by and recognized me. took me, and the kids to the Blackwells hous.

10:00--- left the Blackwells and headed to Pamida (should have just gone home)

10:40--- as we were leaving Pamida Sophia wanted to go for a run, and ran across the parking lot. until a nice lady stopped her... she gave me a look like, whoa lady you have your hands full... notice the lady running behing the little girl lugging a baby in the car seat... poor elliot.

11:15-- got home with burger king... ate and got Sophia to sleep. THANK YOU LORD

1:30-- sophia is up and in full swing. its to hot to be outside, so we just stay inside.

(over the course of the day, other things happen, mostly normal things, sophia pounding on her brother, elliot eating, me eating, yadda yadda yadda)

4:45--- decide to go for a bike ride to the park, gotta get out of the house. fight the bikes down from the hanging spot randy had them in. pinched my finger in the process. realized the first biek was randys... grr.. get second one. pump up the tires... then fight to get the wagon down for the kids, have to somehow attach to the back of my bike... sophia falls in swimming pool. realize sadie is gone... get shoes on the kids and go for a walk, oh yeah, put charlie in garage so he doesn't run away. (call randy and cry for a minute) go for a walk in the back woods looking for my dog, I saw her from a distance but of course she wont come. so after getting many mosquito bites i turn back only to see her from a distance. she comes running, i get her to the garage. i wade around the kiddie pool to relieve the itching ankles from walking in the woods. UGH

it is now 5:36, and as soon as elliot is done eating, i'm goin to change him, pack the diaper bag and head to the park with the kids. i plan on riding my bike... but i may not now that i hiked through the woods, also, i'll be able to take chairs and go to the softball game tonight.

Did I mention its my anniversary and I haven't yet seen my husband today?? Yeah, not what I would have expected. Sorry for the rant.... i'm just super tired and frustrated.... could you tell?

Maybe next year will be better?

Am I sensing a repeat?

So, to start, I wanted to say how good things are. Life is just good. I am making the most of the situations in my path. I am responsible for my own reactions and that has helped. No one can make me happy, but my true happiness comes from the Lord.

With that said, I need to talk about the title of this post.

Last February, we were heading out to Virginia for vacation. I was having terrible pain in my stomach so we went to urgent care. They sent me home with a bill and the kind words that I was fine. On vacation I took a pregnancy test, it was faintly positive... so on the 16th of that month I took another test and it was postive. Woohoo, let the journey begin.

Not long after that the nightmare began of my miscarriage. It was awful and painful and something I never wanted to live again.

Well, the past week I have had an unexplained pain my stomach. Today I woke with a terrible sore throat and so we went to urgent care. They sent me home with a bill and the kind words of what to do to get better.... I'm scared to have the same nightmare starting all over again. I know we aren't suppose to worry or be anxious, but it is so hard right now to not think about it and not think of what is happening in my body right now. I guess lots of prayer right now.

As I type this, my throat is aching and my body is just so tired, but Elliot is laying next to me talking away and telling me its all going to be ok. I love this little boy. Obviously, the end result of that nightmare turned out ok because Elliot came not long after that... now he is 5 months old.

So I guess things do all work out for the best if you give it enough time and prayer. Just getting to the other side is always hard.

Overwhelmed

I titled this post overwhelmed....

Tonight, I reached a point where I just didn't know where to turn. Every direction in my hosue had a new job to do, something to clean, something to put away, some project half started and never finished. I realized, how am I going to get it all done?

Then I started, one pile at a time, one small step. I went to the spot where Randy complains about the most, the dogs corner. I vacuumed all the hair and got the entry way done, check. Then I started to put away the toys, in which Sophia went behind me and got back out. So we made it a game and she helped. I tried to do a job in Elliots room,b ut with no luck.

There will always be laundry and dishes to be done. And I am truly grateful I have more than enough for my family. I heard once it put this way, when I see my piles of dirty laundry, I can praise God for providing cloths for my family, and when I see mounds of dirty dishes after a meal I can praise God for providing food for my family. When I look at it that way, I have a much better attitude. And even a step further, the house. I am so thankful I have a house and a place to protect my children from the weather.

Sophia said some pretty cute thigns tonight. Looking at pictures on the computer, she was naming the people she saw and was telling me what they were doing in the picture. She is a smart little girl. She didn't want to go to bed, so she stayed up till about 10 on the couch with me. We just sat under the blanket and talked and she snuggled up close to me and sucked her thumb and just wanted to be close. I know there will be a day when she may not want to be as close all the time, so I am cherishing these moments while they are here. My mom often reminds me of how fast it goes and to embrace it now. She is speaking from experience... so I should do what she says huh?

What a week

I have had a busy week. I'm just not being able to sit and talk about it too.

Last tuesday I spent the day getting ready for the yard sale. I started to feel yucky but just kept going. I ended up getting mastitis, which for those that done know, is a breast infection caused by a blocked milk duct. Very painful. Wednesday it wiped me off my feet. I was fine for a few hours and tried to do more than I should and it completely knocked me down wednesday night. We called and got a prescription and that really helped. Of course, the yard sale must go on.

We had a good 2.5 days of selling our junk. We made around $600 which was awesome. That was $600 more than we had on Wednesday! What a blessing!

Thw weekend was a blur... Saturday Randy's mom came and had lunch then took Sophia home with her. YEAH!! Saturday night we went to a friends house which is always a ton of fun. Sunday we had church then had to run to Walmart to get a few things for our youth night. Then we went to one of the youth leaders house for N'Focus that night. We were there till 9 or so. Then Monday we got up and drove 3 hours to Randy's sister's house, where we picked up Sophia and then came home. We got home after 9.WHAT A WEEKEND!

This week, its thursday already and I still dont feel caught up on things. Tuesday and Wednesday were just regular days here for me at the house, but still, I'm in a daze. The laundry is a mess.... and as much as I try to get caught up we keep making more to do. I dont think I'll ever be done doing laundry!

There are things I need to just let go of and no longer frett over. Alot of things in life are out of my control. I am only responsible for myself and how I respond to situations. I can't control others and act for them. Even at times when I feel like I know what is better, I need to just worry about me. Even my children. I am responsible for them now because they are so little, but I need to not worry about what others think and do whats best for them. So hard to do!

This coming weekend, we are supposed to be at 5 different places at once. How do you ask? Not sure yet, but Randy says not to worry, we'll do it. hehe... it'll be fun trying!

So blessed

So I heard this song on the radio last week, we were sitting in the mall parking lot of all places. I was feeding Elliot and Randy and Sophia were enjoying a blizzard from Dairy Queen as we waiting. I turned on the radio and this song was coming on. The lyrics have been in my head for awhile... I think it was Martina McBride singing about how blessed she was. And going over all the things in her life that makes her blessed. I thought about this the whole way home from the mall, about 30 minutes and you know, I am also very blessed. I started thinking of all the ways in my head and thought it would be a good post. I'll list them (and this list goes on and on)

1. I have a husband who loves me and I know when he says it he means it. He isn't looking at other women, he is loyal to me. I have his love completely.

2. I have not one, but two beautiful healthy children! They may push my buttons and stretch my patience, but I am blessed.

3. I was able to be pregnant. I have a good friend who bless her heart hasn't been able to carry a child yet, and although they have adopted and they love their son, they still have the desire to give birth. I am so thankful that I am able to but dont understand why God allows some and not others. I keep praying God allows her to have her own. Be like Sarah in the bible (although, not when she is 90) but to have one of her own.

4. We are able to pay our bills. Money may be tight, but God has provided every month and we have not had to go without... always had food and a place to live.

5. Randy has a job! In the hard times right now, he has a job that he loves and he even has a job in the evenings to help pay down the debt a little faster. So many are without jobs right now or soon to be without a job and wondering where the money will come from, but we have a job!

See, that is 5 things, but the list could go on and on! So when you are having a bad day or a day that you wish would be different, stop and think of all the good in your life. The blessings, and it will brighten your day! I often find myself grumbling over the small things. And then the blessings start to pop into my head. I never get far into the list before my day is better.

I hope this post brought you some encouragment tonight. I know its something I need to remind myself of from time to time!

Mothers Day 2009

So today was Mothers Day. A day completely devoted to Mothers and how special they are. My mother in law said it best to my two year old daughter, today is about mom, every other day is about you but today, its all about mom. I liked that.

At church today, Pastor Doug talked about moms and how to resepct moms. He pointed us to great scriptrues regarding parents and their children.

Proverbs 10:1- A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

Proverbs 6:20- My son, keep your father's command, And do not forsake the law of your mother.

Proverbs 23:25- Let your father and mother be glad. And let her who bore you rejoice.

Proverbs 20:20- Whoever curses his father or his mother, His lamp will be put out in deep darkness (YIKES!)

Proverbs 23:22- Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.

These are the verses he references and took us to while we were studying the scriptures today. I really want to raise my children to love God and serve Him! The last point and the thing that made me really think, Pastor Doug said, the one thing you can give your mom, the greatest gift, to Love God mroe than you love her. And yes, as a mom, I would love to have my chidren tell me that and live it! I have already wrote in their journals that I want them to live for God and love Him with every fiber of them, but that is just perfect. THat is the greatest gift. I would love to see my children someday living for God, serving Him in whatever and everything they do!

Also, another point, I want to teach my son to have a relationship with me. I want him to talk to me and treat me with respect. His future wife will someday be grateful for that. I want Randy to show him how to love me and how to respect me. I believe Elliot will learn how to treat a woman by watching his dad. I am also very grateful that Randy has a good relationship with his mom. He may not always agree with her but he loves and respects her. Something I want Elliot to learn as he grows.

I think mothers should be celebrated everyday.

Making the most of a great day

So I want to start by saying how much I enjoy mondays. Randy works so hard on Sundays and all week really and monday is our true family day. And we have done our job at keeping it a family day. Guarding it so we keep it that way!

This morning started out great. Elliot slept till 7! I fed him, my favorite feeding of the day, and then I was going to run to the store for milk and going to take him. Sophia woke up and instead of taking Elliot, I took her. So I gave Elliot to Randy and Sophia and I went out. I always pray Sophia behaves as we go into a store and thankfully, God doesn't think those are silly prayers!

After the store, came home and made breakfast, here is the conversation I had with Sophia:

Me: Sophia, do you want mommy pancakes or daddy pancakes?
Sophia: Daddy pancakes
Randy: Do you want daddy or mommy pancakes
Sophia: Daddy pancakes
Randy: Do you want Elliot pancakes?
Sophia: He is to little

I loved it! So I went and back breakfast, then hit the couch. I dont know why I was so tired! Randy was on the smaller couch with Elliot and Sophia was playing and leaving me alone so I could rest, it was great.

Finally we decided to not be lazy on our day but to get a project done, so up we went. We went to the hardware store and then we went out to lunch! Wonderful! We picked up an electric chainsaw and when we got home we went to work.

We cut out the bushes in the front of our house and it really makes a huge difference. WE still have to dig out the roots, but Randy wasn't worried about that today, that will be next monday. But we did so much work and my hands and arms are so sore. Thankfully my children slept most of the time and we were both able to really tackle the project.

I love being able to work next to Randy and help him those projects. We really do make a great team. He is my best friend. I can't imagine walking side by side in life with anyone else. I had the opportunity to choose someone else (two other people actually) and I walked away from those relationships. I'm so glad I did.

After working hard outside, we went and got dinner at the ice cream place in town, it was so neat! We sat outside and ate then got ice cream.

We made the most of this day. We didn't waist a minute. Tonight, Randy had to go to work and I paid bills. That sorta brought me down to reality after such a great day but its amazing, we have enough money to pay our bills! Praise the Lord! We dont have extra this month, which is ok, we dont need extra. WE just need to stick to the plan!

Ok, gotta get some sleep. I have a little one coming tomorrow and I want to get extra sleep. I got lots of fresh air today so maybe tonight will be a good night of sleep : )

A trip to the store(s)

So, you ever see the commercial where the lady is walking through walmart, with the toddler in the cart and the baby in the carrier and she loses a sock and goes and gets one, then the girl gets a stain on her shirt so the mom goes and gets a new one... and everyone looks so happy and peacefull... you definately know they were acting!

Today, I attempted to be that lady, walking through the store with two little ones. I made the list, and I was being a good girl and sticking to only what was on the list (I only put three things in that weren't on the list! woo, go me!) So I was very worried about it actually, would Sophia not listen, would Elliot think he needed fed in the middle of my adventure?

Well, I got to Walmart to see Sophia was asleep with a sucker stuck to her pants, great! I put the carrier on and strap Elliot in, then I snatched a cart, thankful that not everyone puts them back in the cart carole... oh and did I mention I snagged a front row parking spot! That NEVER happens to me! We get into the store and I pull out the list.. and we are doing great! I spent the whole time talking to Sophia and telling her what was on the list, and what we were putting in the cart... she did great.

I ran into a few friends with their little baby who is only a month old, so tiny and sweet. Elliot isn't so tiny anymore, who am I kidding, was he ever tiny?

So we get into the car, stop one... check.

We head to Sam's Club for dog food, diapers and wipes. Not a big deal right? Well, Sophia didn't want to sit in the cart again, but thankfully I bribed her and she listend. This is when it gets funny.

The dog food, 50 pound bag... remember where Elliot is, strapped to me... not easy. I manage the bag half into the cart, its in, not going to fall out, I'm good.

Now I check out and the lady at the register tells me how polite my daughter is and how good of a job I am doing with her. WOW! I love getting complitments from people out in public like that. I work hard with her and I like that people notice.

So now I'm getting that 50 pound bag of dog food to the van... I strap both kids in the car seats, check, put the other items in the van, now to the dog food. Its a heavy bag, I manage it to the back of the van and flip it over the seat... no room in the back back, has to go into the back seat. The wind is blowing, my hair is a mess (another story for another day) and I look like a million bucks. I have spit up on my shirt, thank you Elliot, and by the time I get back into the van, I am close to $200 poorer and needing a sweat tea from McDonalds. Which I got on my way home : )

So yeah, I bet the security cameras were having a great time recording me and my attempts today. Thankfully it didn't rain on me, and both of my children cooperated and didn't fuss/scream/act out! Thank you Lord! Elliot actually fell asleep on me, so sweet. And Sophia ate her M&M's and was very pleasant!

I also rented 3 movies for tonight, they were only $1 a movie! So I'm going to have a movie night while Randy works...

Ok, gotta go, Sophia is NOT napping and now that she isn't in her crib anymore she thinks she doesn't need one! Yikes!

Sophia, my 2 year old

So I have this beautiful daughter, she is strong willed, independant but yet she needs me. She needs me to help get food ready, to wash her clothes, to kiss her boo-boos and to protect her from the 'scary' noises she hears.

I have the awesome priviledge to raise this unique little girl! What a blessing! She is truly wonderful and I love her so much, she really is a great little girl.

Today we reached a new milestone... we moved her from her crib to her toddler bed. I saw a mark on her leg from where I think she got it stuck in between one of the slats on her crib and it bruised her leg! ouch! SO I asked Randy to get the toddler bed out of storage for her. After setting it up and getting it all ready and taking all that time on it... where is she sleeping? On the big bed in her room.

See her room is also our guest room when my parents come, or anyone comes to visit, so we also have a queen bed set up in there. She took her nap on that bed today and I think she liked it so much, she thinks that is her new bed. So we set up this toddler bed for what reason? Maybe she'll use it and maybe we'll just sell it in the garage sale this summer. We'll see.

But, I am so blessed to have this little girl, who needs me so much. I love her hugs and kisses and her words now. She is so much fun with her conversations and the things she says every day.

Like this morning, we are all laying in bed, Well, Elliot was in his crib, so just the three of us, and she turned and looked at me, put her hand on my cheek and said "I love you mommy" and then snuggled up to me. It melted my heart. I just want to tuck her under my arm and keep her little forever.

THen I start to think how my parents probably felt the same way aobut me, and here I am, 25 years old with two kids of my own... how my mom probably never thought I would move away and live 7 hours away. It makes me sad to think that Sophia will do that someday, or Elliot too.

I am just loving every day with her and taking it all in. I need to find joy in the days I have with her. Every day with her should be a blessing and I should take full advantage of it!

Ok, I"m going to start crying now. I just love having a daughter... daughters are a blessing. (so is my son though)

Tonight, as I was putting her to bed, she grabbed my hand and said "I want to snuggle" So cute! So I laid down next to her and told her a story and kissed her goodnight and she hasn't moved... I love it. I love her!

Ok, washer is done, need to go switch the clothes and get to bed! So sleepy!

My purpose!

SO I have been missing church lately. Either due to junior church or nursery or just because of my children being sick... but today I was able to sit and listen and it was great.

God really uses Pastor Doug to bring great messages. I love it! Just from the music to the missionary who shared his struggle and his prayer request to the compassion presentation, it was all pretty gret!

Doug shared having a grace-based relationship with Christ. God's grace is enough for me! How wonderful!

Then in sunday school we are reading through the book, Don't Waist your Life by John Piper ( I read it a few years ago, but never really got into it until now) But I learned how to have joy no matter what I do. Even though I dont leave the hosue on a daily basis to go to a job, my job is my children (and the two little ones I watch) and I need to find Joy in that! It was a challenge to me because I get stuck in the rut and the idea that I dont have a job... but oh I do! My job is to glorify God in all I do! That is my purpose here! To bring glory to God in everything I do!

Well, I need to rest my eyes for a bit. Both Sophia and Elliot are sleeping and I need to take full advantage of that!

I think God will be glorified if I take a nap today, so I am well rested for youth group tonight!

Must stop the bleeding!

So, Randy and I had a good chat last night about our credit card debt. Wow. Very scary to think that we have let ourselves go like we have. With very little in savgins, which is I think MORE scary! So we have to stop the bleeding.

Here is the plan. Every dollar I make babysitting the two boys will go right to debt, as well as Randy's paychecks from cleaning at night. We will budget what he makes from the church and live off that solely. We will spend cash and cash only. I think I have to leave any piece of plastic at home and if I have no more cash for the month then I am done. Thats it. No more excuses or saying, we'll just pay it off next month. NO MORE!

May will be the first month we try this... we shall see how we do. I may even go back to donating plasma which will give us $240 a month if I go twice a week in the right time frame to get the $60 a month.

WIthout the plasma money, that was just thrown in now, we can have it all paid off, including Randy's student loan and our van by August 2011. Now that is straight through, no bumps or interruptions. That is being very disciplined and not spending anymore extra.

Wow. That is all I have to say. I want to also set up a savings account for both our children and start putting money away for that. If they want to go to college someday that would be great of us to start doing that now! Also, Randy and I want to eventually retire and not have to worry about money, so we are going to have to start putting money aside for that.

I can see where money can be be a big stress on a marriage, but Randy and I have now a firm graspe on our goals and what we want to accomplish. Just staying faithful to those goals is what is going to be so hard. But, we can do it! God will help us. I believe that with all my heart!

Ok, gotta go get Sophia something to eat and get her to rest. At 1:00 I am walking with a good friend and a nap before we go would be wonderful. Elliot is sleeping already on the floor. He fell asleep a little bit ago. Love my children!

10 minute workout

SO I saw this great DVD workout system this morning, claiming to help get you back in shape for just 10 minutes a day. It was very appealing to me, being a mom with two little ones. I dont have a lot of time to devote to exercise a day and wow, 10 minutes, I could do that! After almost buying it, Randy and I decided not to. A little bummed about it, but really, I dont need it.

I can get up a few minutes early and go run and do that instead. Randy is able to get the kids up and dressed and even feed Sophia breakfast while I am out. I ran a mile on the track and it felt so good. It really took me back to the days when the track was my best friend.

I left Geneva's track team In 2003... just 6 years ago. Hard to believe. Had I never left after that first year, I would have probably graduated in 2006. I got pregnant with Sophia that summer of 06 so who knows if I would have had her, or if I would have married Randy! I look back at all I left behind and wonder what my life would be like had I not walked away. Sure, I probably would have had 3 more great years on the track... medals and school records. Maybe a few national meets. But I look at all I have now that I probably wouldn't have had if I stayed and I can't even imagein my life without them!

It felt great to run again on the track. Some dont like the track and find running in circles boring. Yes, it can be, but today, I needed to start there. Start back where I was great. Is that conceited of me? I have been really feeling down lately, like all I am ever going to be now is a mom. So going back to a place where I loved and where I was good at something really helped today.

Now in just a few minutes I'm goin to pack up the children (kids are baby goats, I didn't give birth to goats) and head to the park to let Sophia play. I feel also that this run this morning energized me to do more! I'm sore from the run, but I feel great.

I may have to make running a regular part of my day.... not just once a week, but get up in the mornings and make it a part of my day. Not sure what will happen when its cold again, maybe Ill have to get a treadmill.... : )

You should do the same! Get up and enjoy the day, make the most of the day God gave you! If you dont believe in God, well, you are missing out!!!!

Terrible Twos

Ok, I hate that phrase, I hate it because I can handle it what God puts in front of me with His help, but lately, I'm afraid I've been taking it by myself. Sophia has been pushing my buttons, and then add in Elliot who is a definate mommy's boy, and then two other little ones I watch a few days a week, I may need that padded room sooner than later!

Yesterday was an awful day, just couldn't get a break. One child was crying at all time and needed something. When I got them all down, except for Elliot, I just took him and rocked him and talked to him. It was like he needed me just as much as I needed him at that moment.

Bigger news. My new niece who was born April 14 was in and out of the hospital for a few days due to an infection. Scary! Turns out the infection was nothing and she came home. I want to call my sister in law but I dont want to interupt her. I know a new mom needs naps and needs the chance to bond with her baby, so I wont call. I'll text her and if she is able, she will call me. I miss talking to her though. We used to talk a few times a week and now, nothing!

I just realized this morning, that I haven't given Elliot a bottle in over two weeks. Which is great, my plan to nurse as long as possilbe and that is helping, but it also could be bad. He didn't want to take a bottle for Randy this morning and so we may have a problem on our hands! I just wnated a shower, so Randy kept elliot so I could and he fussed the whole time I was gone, and then finally when I was done Randy was about to give him a bottle (of breastmilk) and I came in the room and it was like a light switch... he was fine! And eventually fell asleep. I think we have a true momma's boy on our hands!

Ok, so lets make this post even more random, but I love the show American Idol. Not for the show itself, but I love that the Blackwells come over every week and we watch it together. My adult fix for the week! Last year and year before we would go to their house, which was great, but now with two little ones they come to our house so Sophia can go to bed. I realized today though, that the town troubador from Gilmore Girls looks like Danny Gokey!!! So funny.

I think I'm going to get the Wii out and do a workout. Sophia is still down for a nap and Elliot just went down. Jayson just drank his bottle and is just chillin in the bouncy seat (half asleep)

I am also watching the last episode of season 6 of Gilmore Girls at the moment... soon it will be over... I would love to pop in episode 1 of season 7 but alas, that is still out on loan at the moment. Oh well, life goes on without Gilmore Girls right????

Wonderful weekend!

So we went to a youth leaders seminar this weekend and got so many ideas for own on student ministries.

One of the thigns I learned, dont call it a "youth group" you can be a part of many youth groups, but call it your student ministries! Make it unique, something they can't get in any other group.

Randy and I talked about where we want to see the group go and have set some great goals! Its awesome how God used one night away (a night that I wasn't even sure I wanted to go too). I had to leave Sophia with Randy's aunt and uncle, which wasn't a problem, I just missed her. Plus I had to take Elliot who is still nursing, so that was always a treat. But God used the speakers and used the material presented to me and I think its going to really help.

It was just great and I really think the two other leaders who went had a great time and took some great stuff from it as well!!

I feel so disconnected from things lately. I know I just had a baby, and that is not helping, but the past three weeks now I haven't been in church to hear Pastor Doug, and I think I need to get his message and listen to it at home. I feel so out of it and I really need that teaching! His messages are always so good, and I know God is using him to present that truth.

During the week I never get out, I have mondays but that is the only day I dont have extra little ones here. Then the next four days I have at least 1 if not 2 little boys here. So that makes getting out and seeing people hard. I live for Sundays and getting to go to church. Being around people is awesome and especially the church family I am a part of. And when you take that away from me, I just shrink and shrink!

But until Elliot stops nursing or doesn't need me all the time, I wont have a chance to be very far from him. Its worth it though, every feeding is worth it though. He is turning into a mama's boy. I love having a son.

Ok, so as you can tell, my post started as one thing and progressed into something else, THere goes my mind, just a wondering!!!

I'm waiting for Randy to get home. After N'Focus tonight he has a deacons meeting... then he'll be home. What a day!

The wonderful weather...

So I am firm believer now, the warm weather, the sunshine, and the ability to be outside makes one feel better. I had a great day today, knowing I could go outside and get fresh air without putting on layers upon layers! I loved it!

I had a new niece born this week, Isabella Grace. Now, on both sides of the family there is an Isabel and Isabella. Its all good though. I wont be going to see her until July though, sooo long from now!

So a year ago I starting chatting with this group of women on babycenter, then a nice lady started a new board and some women branched off, well in July I think, I joined up with them and we've been talking ever since. Its so great to have the support like that! These women are all across the country and even though I never met any of them face to face, I feel like I've known them my whole life! In July, there is a small number going to be meeting in Maryland and I am so excited to get to meet some of them!

Can I also say, I am in love with my children. They may drive me bonkers (sophia) at times, but how can I be upset at them? I love them so much!

Ok, gotta go to bed, or get ready for bed. Night!

Words of a two year old...

So, I wanted to share some of the cute things my daughter has said lately, she melts my heart over and over....

Me: I need your help Sophia
SOphia: OK! Give me a 'cauk cauk' (washcloth)

Sophia grabs her keys and the monitor "Bye bye, see you later, going to grand-dad" as she heads towards the door.

As she kisses Elliot's head "Ee-it, you cute"

We were playing one day, and she turns to me and says "I go to wa-mart" (walmart)

We were in the tub the other day, well, she was and she was pretending to lay down, she said "I sleeping in the water!"

And I believe my favorite, hearing her sing, she will sing Twinkle twinkle little star or her ABC's when no one is paying attention or in her crib int he mornings or after she wakes up. I really think she is going to be a singer!

We got her this new piano, and it has a microphone, and she says "Hello Phia" in it, so very cute!

We were quizzing her on her body parts, and she was getting them, even the hard ones she remembered, so randy wanted to trick her and ask her where her calves were, she looked at him and said "I dont know?" and raised her hands.

So even though there are times I want to ship her to grandmas house for a few days because she is driving me bonkers... I love her and I love her words and how well she is talking and how much she talks. (I have no idea why she likes to talk so much, lol)

So for those who are reading and have a small baby, get ready, your child will too melt your heart every day!

Updating on things

So this post is going to be updating on things going on.

First, Randy and I have put off the daycare idea. We are goin to continue to watch the two I watch and if we decide to pursue something, it would be later. I am just trying to make it day to day doing what I do. When Elliot and Jayson are older, it may be easier to handle the thought, but for right now, I'm doing just fine with what I'm doing.

Lately, I've just reached a standstil. I'm not sure what is going on with me. Its like, I do the same things everyday and I just need to find purpose. I knwo what it is supposed to be and I hear it every week at church but by friday, I've just reached a point of being so tired I just can't think anymore.

I doubt myself, I doubt that I am a good mother or wife, that I can't take care of my house or do the work I do. I doubt so much that after awhile, I start to believe it. When I know I am supposed to focus on what is true not what is false.

Randy gets on me about thinking this way, he always encourages me to focus on the truth instead of what isn't true... something that is hard for me.

Randy is working tonight and just texted me that he was going to be midnight or later. Thats 2 more hours at least. I know he is wokring this second job right now to help get a bigger shovel to get rid of our debt, but its just hard ya know. I feel like we never see each other and when we do we have screaming children to deal with. He doesn't know what it is like to be around them all day and night and have to deal with them alone like I do. I may have to take Elliot with me tomorrow and go do a little retail therapy shopping. That sometimes helps things!

Ok, gotta go switch the laundry and try to get some sleep. Elliot took a bottle tonight (of formula) its friday and I'm exhausted, that is of nursing too. One bottle isn't goin to hurt him. He drank it and went to sleep, so hopefully he is out for the night to give me a few hours at least!

2 years later....

I woke up this morning to my son crying it took me back to two years ago...

March 31 I woke up and was wondering when this baby would be born... Later that day we thought, oh boy, this is going to happen soon.

at 4:58, April 1, 2007 Sophia Elizabeth came into the world and changed our lives forever. She is a bright spot in a cloudy day and definately a joy to my life. I know true happiness can't be found in a human, but I tell you, she makes me pretty happy!

THat morning of April 1, I was just praying to meet this baby, who we weren't sure yet boy/girl, so I was anxious to meet my new baby. When the doctor said "Its a girl!" I started to cry, and when they handed her to me, I was in love, completely and 100% in love with this baby.

Taking her home was an adventure. I never saw Randy drive as slow as he did on that day, very careful of every turn and every bump in the road. He first road trip was home as we had her in the hospital 1 hour from home.

The past two years have gone fast and at times have been really challenging with her growing and learning, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

God has blessed me, giving me a daughter, and the opportunity to raise her to be a woman of the word and to Love God! I hope and pray as she grows I can be a good role model of what a Christian woman is to be like and she will have a good example of a lady, a wife and a mother. What HUGE shoes to fill and live up to!

I had a great role model in my mother, so I am praying I can do the same.

Well, as I type, I have a little one lying next to me, Jayson, and My little guy Elliot is awake and ready for me to get him from his crib.

So the daydreaming must end for now!

Two years ago...

Two years ago today... (I've been doing alot of thinking like this lately)

I was HUGE pregnant with Sophia and ready to have her. Of course, I didn't know she was a girl, and just kept wondering what my little baby was going to be. I loved not knowing. If we have a third baby, thats the way we will go. I dont want to know next time.

I was still 3 days away from the day, not knowing that of course, I was anxious every single day. We would go for walks, I would walk down the street to the church to see Randy once a day, just for fun, then continue to walk around the block, hoping it would wiggle the baby out.

March 29th, I was just ready!

Looking back now, it seems like it happened all yesterday. I can remember walking into the hospital with the though "Oh stink, I can't do this, what was I thinking, getting pregnant, I can't be a mom, I can't have a baby, I'm to young, I need my mom" But I did it, and I have survived 2 years with my beautiful daughter. THere are days I wonder if we are goin to make it. Then there are the moments where I wake up to her snuggling up to my back and rubbing it sucking on her thumb. I turn over, she gives me a smile and says "hi mommy" Those are the mornings Randy has gotten her up and let me sleep in and brought her back to bed with him so she can snuggle and watch cartoons in bed with us.

I have to say, she is a wonderful little girl, and I really am blessed to have her. God had given me a beautiful daughter, inside and out, and I look forward to see how she grows and I pray she grows in the Lord. I pray she walks side by side with Christ and lets HIM have her life. That is my prayer for my little Sophia right now.

Well, the bible study group is meeting at my hosue tonight, and I want to continue the tornado clean up job I was working on, but I got side-tracted, no surprise there! The living room is almost done, the kitchen has been started BUT the bathroom is done! Woo!!! See, I'm not being completely lazy and addicted to this darn computer. I do enjoy being online, but I am trying to stay away a little more... focus on more important things = )

Ice Skating

Why do people go ice skating? Put these funny boots on your feet with blades on the bottom and go on a big oblong shape ice.. and go in circles, and put themselves in risk of falling and hurting themselves. Why? Because why not!

I haven't been ice skating in years, and it reallly took me back tonight to my younger years, of growing up and waiting for "the pond" to freeze. Getting all bundled up with goofy hats from grandmas bin of mismatched hats and gloves and going out and playing hockey. I can remember trying to do figure skating moves with my cousins and we had a blast! We would have some sing songs while you did your routine, and we always tried to do special stunts. THEN on some weekends when we started driving, we would make the 20 minute drive to the actual ice arena and go skate where we would try to show off the mad skill we had. (My skill was trying not to fall)

It really took me back though and I had a great time remember what it was like, Steph, Mandy, Lex and Robyn and I would enjoy the few times we could actually skate on my Grandmas pond a winter. Life seemed so simple back then. I like that simple life.

On another note, I was actually able to go because some good friends said they would watch my children. Praise the Lord! I got to go be Sara for the night instead of "moma" Now there is nothing wrong with being mommy, but sometimes, its super nice to get out of that and just be an adult without a child hanging on you. But by the end of the night, I was ready to hear that beautiful word "Mommy!" when I came in the house.... Its a word I hold dear to me, because my little Sophia says it, I love that child!

So here I am, awake at 3 AM, long story, you'll have to ask me why I was up, when my children are both asleep and Elliot did not need to eat. I wont put it on here, but go ahead and ask if you really want to know.

Well, I'm off to hopefully drift back asleep. I am constantly listening for my baby boy to cry out for me to say "mommy I'm hungry, please come get me!" But he hasn't, he wouldn't eat when we got home and I tried to feed him at 11, so we put him to bed expecting him not to make it all night, so far, its been since 8 that he ate (7 hours) and I'm hoping he goes another 4 at this point, but if its sooner than that, I'll deal with it.

Day Care

So, today Randy had this idea, to finish our room in the garage, that is a family room, actually its a mess really, and turn it into a daycare room. He wants me to look into getting my license so I can take on more children and go about it legally.

I am currently watching two little boys, an almost 2 year odl and a 7 week old, and I love it. I really feel like God has blessed me with the ability to take care of children and have the patience to deal with them. He has even mentioned taking out a loan to finish the room this summer so I can start up this fall.

I realize daycare ties you down greatly to your house and it may not be everything I have in my mind, but I could do it for a few years until my children are in school, and then even continue. We dont do things to simply make money, but if I did the math right, it could create a nice sum of money each month, which would help out tremendously!!

So the process to do this, first we need to see what getting a license will take, how hard it is to maintain, and all the little things we will need to do to get it, Then we need to borrow the money to get the room ready. The room right now, is a cement floor that is gross and yucky. It is also the home of our dogs, which I'm not sure what would happen to them. One person told me you can't have dogs when you own a daycare, but I have seen a daycare in town with a fenced in yard with dogs in it, with children. But she may not have a license, she could jsut be doing what I'm doing.

Oh, and then the fun part, the name. Not sure where to even begin! I hate the thought of being tied down everyday, but like the thought of being able to make money at doing what I really enjoy.

So, if you are reading this, please pray for me. This is a decision I want to really pray and seek the best for our family. So if doing a daycare is what I feel led to do, then so be it, but I really want to not jump into it without really thinking it all out. So, the next few days/weeks even I am going to pursue what is best for our family. I think it may be kind of fun, but we will just have to see.

The two little boys I watch now are so dear to me. THe one I have been watching for a year now and I love him, he has become a litle son to me, I take care of him like he is one of my own, and then am glad to give him back to mom later. The new little guy I have only had two days so far, but he is a sweetheart as well. I have enjoyed every minute with him!

Ok, so tomorrow is going to come fast, and hopefully Elliot will go to bed here in a few minutes and sleep till 6... heres hoping at least!

Start of something good here!

Ok, so yesterday was crazy. But good.

I started watching the second little one, which had its own challenges. LIke when feeding time came, and both Elliot and Jayson both wanted fed... I managed though, they both got fed! I was able to get them both to sleep, by rocking them, at the same time... wow, I give my mom major credit for having twins! Not as easy as I thought it would be. And I take it back, I no longer secretly want twins, I'm done with that thought!

Randy said Elliot had to sleep in his own room, so against what I watned, I put him in his crib now for two nights. THe first night I ended up bringing back to our room,b ut last night, he stayed in his crib all night. HE slept great, and so did I. Oh well, I guess he can't stay my little baby for ever. Although, he is getting more fun with his facial expressions and his noises, so its all good. I told Randy he is going to have to give me away when Elliot gets married someday, I dont want him to ever leave me!

On bigger news maybe, well, maybe equal value as Elliot sleeping almost through the night, Sophia used the potty today and then came to me a second time and wanted to go. We sat there for a few minutes until she finally went, but it was wonderful!!!! I didn't want to push her so I was just praying she would get the hint and start on her own, well, she tried it today!! YEAH!!!

Ok, so Jayson is stirring and so I'm going to get a bottle ready for him, hopefully Elliot can wait till Jayson is done. He should be ok, If Sophia leaves him alone! She just loves to hold him and help out, yikes!

Trying it out

So, I knew this day was coming, and its here I'm afraid, the night Elliot sleeps in his own crib in his own room. He is there now, sleeping and looking very peaceful I might add. I put Sophia in her own room at 2 months, he is now 2.5 months, so a little later than her. I have the monitor on and am afraid I will sleep with it in my hand waiting for him to make a peep. Maybe tonight will also be the night he sleeps through the night entirely... oh.... so nice!

So the topic of more children keeps being brought up by a few people... as much as I want to say 'sure, I'll have more children someday' I really dont know if we will. It'll take a lot of prayer and alot of talking and thinking to really get us to that point. Sophia and Elliot are cute, but they are expensive and money is an issue, we dont make alot. Yes God has always provided for us and He will always be there, but we also need to be responsible and not go crazy and have more children than we can financially take care of. Hard to make that decision though when I am so stinkin sleep deprived!

I start my new job tomorrow... I am now watching two little ones on top of my own two. I have taken on a new infant, 3 weeks younger than Elliot. I will have him three days this week for 8 hours a day. So with that money, plus the other little guy I watch, it'll be right around $100 a week, on average. It may be more and probably will be more most weeks, so that will be an average of $400 extra a month. THat will help out so much in the bill department and paying down debt. So with my money from watching the little ones, and Randys extra money he makes from cleaning in the evenings, we just got ourselves a bigger shovel to help dig our way out of debt! We just need to tell ourselves NO and to STOP SPENDING MONEY ON THINGS WE DONT NEED. lol... thats so hard to live out!

Ok, I think Elliot is very comfy in his bed, I should try to get a few hours of sleep before he needs me again... wont be long and he'll be like his sister and sleeping 12 hours a night and only needing me to get him a sippy of milk...

Goodnight!

Diving In!

So, I have been looking at ways to work our budget to save money. One thing I havve done, leave the credit cards at home! Shoot, I may send them to work with Randy, online shopping is just as bad!

Anyway, I have invested some time and thought into the cloth diapers market. After talking to some ladies on the wonderful january birth board I belong to, I went ahead and did it, I have three now and the rest are coming.

Dont get me wrong, I'm not doign it b/c its better for the environment or for my baby. I used the disposable diapers for Sophia and she never had diaper rashes other than one or two when she has been sick and teething. She will continue with them until she is potty trained.

So, I have 15 bum genius diapers, they are all in ones, where I just have to stuff the liner and put them on him and wash the whole thing. And I will have 15 prefolds and 3 covers. I was told I dont need a cover per diaper I can use the same cover more than once between washings. So that gives me 30 diapers. (I just bought 12 more BG and had 3 already)

Randy is actually excited to try this with me. He wants to know how to take care of them to get the most use out of them. I figure, I have just under $300 invested so far and I am pretty sure I wont have to buy more over the course of Elliots diapering days. But even if I do, it is still cheaper than buying diapers every month! You could easily spend between $2500-$3000 on diapers over the course of 3 years (lets me honest, most children are not potty trained in 2 years, most take longer!)

I bought my diapers online at www.cottonbabies.com and would be happy to help you out if you are interested in finding out more or going cloth yourself for you little ones. Yes, it may be gross to wash all the diapers, but if I am saving money, then its worth it!

And you dont use that much laundry detergent to wash the diapers, so you aren't spending more on soap than diapers, so it does equal out!

On other news, Sophia was laying next to Elliot this morning and just chomped down on his hand, and left marks. Oh it made me so mad! She does little things like that to get my attention and oh it worked today! She may spend her whole day in timeout today!!

My gift

So lately, I have been really wondering what my Sprititual gift is. I know God has blessed me, but was searching for what that is. Well, I think I am figuring it out!

I have always loved children, reason why I have two and two close in age : ) Well, I started watching a little boy last year around this time, well, maybe longer, can't remember. Anyway, I started watching him again after Elliot was born. My 'maternity leave' was up and Caidan comes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Well, recently another friend contacted me to watch her little guy, Jayson, who is still very little. Just a few weeks younger than Elliot. So I'll have two extra little ones.

Now, I will be getting paid, which makes it nice to have a little extra money, but I really am happy to get the chance to help out two families. I am blessed to not have to go to work. Randy works extra hard so I can stay home with our children, but this is my way of giving back.

Will it be hard? Well, what would you think, I will have a 2 year old, an almost 2 year old and two infants under 3 months... yes, it will be a challenge. But I am up for it. I find myself more productive when I have more responsibility. Lets take today, I am still in my pj's at 1235... but days when I have more on the schedule I find myself getting more done.

God is good. We have been praying for a little extra money and this is just what we were thinking! I dont want to have a daycare, but this is just a small way to bring in a little more money and still be able to stay at home while doing so! Its awesome!

Another busy day

So, no surprise, we had a busy weekend. I went "home" last week to PA and spent Monday thru Friday at my parents house. While I was there I saw my siblings and family and loved it. Randy came and picked me up on thursday night and we made it home safe and sound on Friday.

Saturday I watched a friends two girls for the day, from 11:30 till Sunday! It was crazy. A 7 year old, two 2 year olds and a newborn, what a busy day! It was all good though, I survived : )

Sunday was good, great actually. got a chance to hear God's word shared and really contemplated some awesome scriptures!

Elliot had his 2 month check up today, he is growing and developing right along where he should be. What a beautiful baby he is, I'm so in love!

At Winter Jam, Randy adopted a little baby boy from India for our youth group to support. I saw his picture and my heart fell in love. I really started thinking about adoption and bringing a child like that into my life. I wasn't sure how Randy would feel about it and honestly, it is a HUGE committment on our parts. Its not something I'm going to jump into yet, but this little baby boy is so cute. He was born in June and was a premie, found in a garbage can, and is still in the hospital/orphanage. Not sure where that will take us, but maybe it is something that will open up for us. Randy is actually really on board with it. I feel very blessed to have two of my own children, but giving a child a better life and opportunities that he/she may not have otherwise, that would be awesome. Definatley something we need to pray about and continue to seek God's guidance on.

I am sitting in my living room, Randy is sleeping on the couch, Elliot is sleeping on the floor, all spread out, and Sophia is in her crib sleeping. I should try, but its so nice to see them all sleep. I pray that this nap is very good for all three of them. They are all so tired and exhausted. Well, maybe not Elliot, but the other two are!

Blessings blessings blessings!

So I just got home, a few hours ago, from PA. It was wonderful!! I went without Randy for the week, which was very hard, but all in all it was a good time. My parents really enjoyed having me there with Sophia and Elliot. They miss them when we dont get a chance to visit, and I could tell my mom was itching to see Elliot again.

I got to see three of my four siblings, one niece, and go shopping alot with my sisters and my mom. The days were lazy at times and busy at times. The evenings usually were spent preparing dinner for everyone and two of the four nights I was there we had everyone over. It was a great week.

As nice as it was to go, coming home was nice too. I love where we live and the people here and my house! Even though Randy didn't do much in terms of cleaning while I was gone, it was nice because it makes me feel needed. Silly, sure, but he would be so lost without me. I feel like its my purpose or part of it, to clean the hosue for him and take care of it. He has enough going on with his job he doesn't need to worry about it! I am just very blessed that he works as hard as he does so I can stay home with our two little ones.

Well, a few mintues ago, I was in the bathroom doing laundry, and the dogs were barking... yikes! Home alone, dark out, and the dogs bark... it was a lady from church bringing us a big box of food! It was hamburger meat, steaks, roasts, all sorts of yummy food! She said she got a half a cow and had more than her family could eat and she ran out of room, so she thought of us!!!! The way God works amazes me. This month we paid down a little more on debt, so our food budget has to be spread out, but this will help out a ton!! Definately enough big parts to meals that all we have to do is come up with the little things.

I love how God works. No matter how little I show my gratitude to Him, He is constantly providing! I dont know why I am so surprised by His goodness, because God is always good, but I am so grateful!

Sophia went to bed at 730, Elliot just ate and is sleeping soundly on the couch next to me and I have a basket of clothes to fold... but I may skip that for now and get to it later. Maybe... I am really tired tonight and just want to curl up with a movie and sleep. Both children are, I think I should be too!

Goodnight! Thanks for reading my random thoughts!